Top 10 Weirdest Japanese Snacks and Drinks — TopTenzNet

By Brian Lemay 5 comments


Top 10 Weirdest Japanese Snacks and Drinks 10. Candy Squid When you are living on an island, it’s natural
that most of your daily diet will come from the sea, and the Japanese have proven over
the years that if it swims, they will eat it without exception. This is the nation that
willingly eats Fugu for Pete’s sake, a fish so poisonous that unless you prepare it correctly
you will die very painfully. Compared to that, candied squid seems almost sane… the key
word being “almost”. You can get these at any convenience store
or on a stick during a traditional Japanese festival. Funny thing though, the candied
squid isn’t actually sweet (don’t ask how that works) and often comes in such appetizing
flavors as “Cod Roe” or “Spicy Korean Cabbage.” 9. Cheese Drink The product of the NEEDS cheese factory in
Hokkaido, the Cheese Drink has allegedly been produced to raise cheese awareness in Japan.
It is estimated that over 20 million Japanese kids don’t know what real cheese looks like*
and more than 30% of all Japanese adults think you can get cancer from touching cheese ** so
what the NEEDS company is doing is actually very noble indeed***, slowly easing the society
to the idea that cheese is not evil. Because it’s not like they simply had a full batch
of industrial grade cheese-byproduct liquid and decided to sell it to the general populi.
Nah, couldn’t be. The cheese drink can also be used as salad
dressing. * Completely false. ** Made up on the spot. *** Not in the least. 8. Rose Sweat Gum Aptly and yet very horrifyingly named “Otoko
Kaoru” (“Man Smelling Sweetly”) this product is a brand of chewing gum that makes
your sweat smell like roses. Believe it or not, there actually is a very
good explanation for this product. The Japanese spend a great portion of their lives in the
overcrowded public transportation systems (according to my calculations, if you add
the hours every Japanese man spends in a train and multiply it by a Billion, you get a really
large number). Can you imagine what would happen if 50 of these old Japanese dudes started
sweating their natural manly musk? Suddenly the gum doesn’t sound so crazy
after all. Hell, it should probably be made mandatory for some people. You know the type
I mean. 7. Cream Collon Biscuits What would you do if I came in to your office
(assuming you had an office and were the head of a major candy company) and proposed a new
type of biscuit snack in the shape of small tubes filled with cream? You would probably
let me keep talking, cause that doesn’t sound so bad. OK, but then just how many guards
you would send after me if I said I wanted to name this new snack “Collon”, without
the slightest bit of irony? 5, 20 guards? If your answer was anything more than zero
then sadly you do not have what it takes to be the president of Glico, the biggest candy
company in Japan and the proud manufacturers of the Cream Collon snack. See Japan, this
is why everybody is laughing AT you, not WITH you. It’s things like that. 6. Curry Lemonade Ah, curry and lemonade, together at last!
Wait, what?! This has got to be either a joke or some sort of Fear Factor merchandise tie-in.
But we all know that is not the case, otherwise it wouldn’t make the list. No use fighting
it, let’s just acknowledge that somewhere in Japan there is a person (a whole lot of
persons to boot) who willingly swig curry flavored lemonade. Let’s now acknowledge
that this is really freaky. Oh, and look at the label: “A miraculous
collaboration of curry and lemonade”. Can’t argue that this product is a miracle. This
Curry Lemonade had to be devised, presented in front of a group of businessmen, taste-tested
and then marketed. And during that time no one stopped to say “Guys, isn’t this product
actually very strange?” A miracle if I ever saw one… 5. Scallops and Mayo Flavored Chips Scallops-Mayo-Flavored-Chips When I was a kid, we used to have these Ketchup
favored crisps and even then I thought of that as a little bit weird, so imagine how
I must feel about scallops and mayonnaise flavored chips from Japan. The answer: somewhere
between “Ghwaa…?” and “Oh sweet lord, no…” The fact of the matter is that the snack business
in Japan is humongolarge. Unless you have literally millions of dollars to throw into
a marketing campaign that will employ a new type of science ray that injects commercials
straight into people’s dreams, the only way for your brand to stand out over there
is coming up with really bizarre flavors. And thus, the Scallops & Mayonnaise Chips
from Calbee were born. Just be thankful they didn’t go with their other idea: Dog Turd
Crisps. 4. Bizarre Pepsi Flavors Same as with the snack business, you really
need a gimmick in order for your drink to stand out east of China. This applies even
to giants as Pepsi, who during the course of several years came up with such Japan-exclusive
Pepsi flavors as: Yogurt, Cucumber and Shiso (which is something like a cross between basil
and mint). None of those really stuck around, proving
that even the complex Japanese pallet could not handle such atrocities against God for
long, but who knows what the future might bring? Pepsi is undeniably second to Coca
Cola in Japan (they even sell Coca Cola brand water over there, believe it or not) so they
will probably keep coming up with more and more original flavors. Pepsi Kitten Blood
perhaps? Who knows? 3. Roasted Baby Crabs This is a very sad entry… These are actual crab babies we are talking
about. Roasted crab babies. It might just be me but I keep getting this image of a Daddy,
Mommy and Junior crab playing together in their underwater house when suddenly the kid
is yanked out in a net and roasted alive for the gluttonous needs of sadistic Japanese.
It’s sadder than 20 orphans watching “Bambi” for the first time. Let’s just move to the
next item… 2. Eel Soda The “Surging Eel” fizzy pop is a carbonated
yellow liquid made out of *SPOILERS* eel. It is produced by the Japanese Tobacco Company.
No, it doesn’t make sense even to me, so don’t worry about it. Now, I do have to acknowledge that the eel
is a delicacy in Japan, but bottling and selling it as a soft drink has to be against some
kind of law. Hell, if not court laws then I am willing to invoke the law of God if I
have to. The western equivalent of this monstrosity would be… I don’t know, to bottle an entire
Thanksgiving dinner in soda form? Which of course would never happen because no one is
that crazy and… (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jones_Soda#Limited_Editions)…Dammit. 1. Meat Flavored Ice-cream You see those? Those are, in order, Beef Tongue,
Horse and Chicken Wings flavored ice-cream. HORSE! There is absolutely nothing I could think
of to excuse this. So OK, beef tongue is quite often eaten in Japan. It tastes simply delicious
when cooked over some charcoals and washed down with a beer. Chicken wings? KFC is everywhere
here. Then there is HORSE…! I just don’t get it. How in the world did any of those end up as
ice-cream? Now that I think about it, I am starting to fear for my life. Because you
know, if already the Japanese are scrapping the bottom of the idea barrel for new meat
themed ice cream like HORSE and all, how long will it take them to try and package us, the
foreigners, into the mix? Filthy-Foreigner Ice Cream… I can already see it.

5 Comments

Kathryn Ashworth

May 5, 2019, 9:34 pm Reply

No, cheese is evil.

Memaw knows best

May 5, 2019, 10:17 pm Reply

The lower intestine is called the COLON, not COLLON. Similar, but very different words guys. And you do know that Coca-Cola owns Dasani Bottled Water, right?

Flamsterette

Jun 6, 2019, 10:10 pm Reply

I love the Collon snacks!

Haruka Tenou

Jul 7, 2019, 2:49 pm Reply

The American equivelance to Japan's Cream Collon Biscuits are COMBOS. Cracker or pretzel with usually cheese cream/paste in it. It tastes better than what it sounds.

Shaina

Aug 8, 2019, 8:24 pm Reply

Curry lemonade doesn’t sound awful 🤔

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