The Worst Parts of Childbirth • Wine Mom

By Brian Lemay 100 comments


(happy Italian folk music) – Hi, I’m Hannah. Your friendly neighborhood wine mom and if you’re anything
like me, you believe that a glass of wine at eight
p.m. makes you a better mom. So, pour yourself a glass and let’s talk. Tonight we’re drinking red wine. This is what I like to call grown-up wine. And I always drink this wine
when I’m around other adults and trying to be an adult
and I’m like, (sniffs) “Mmm, yes this is a great red,” but it’s actually like kind
of strong and kind of intense. Like tonight’s topic. Tonight we’re gonna talk about the worst parts of childbirth. You thought pregnancy was bad. Strap yourselves in again
because this is a wild ride. There’s pain, suffering,
beauty, disgustingness, fluids. I already anticipate the comments. “Oh you just made me
not want kids anymore!” And I don’t care because
you deserve to know. So, let’s get started. Ohh, hm, I don’t like red wine. So just so you know, I had both
of my births in a hospital. So, what I’m gonna say
applies to my experiences. Yours might of been different,
but that’s all good. So, let’s go. Let’s start with the worst part. Ready? It’s not what you think it
would be, which is pushing out the child. It’s actually this little
thing called contractions. It’s like your body’s way of saying, “Get this out of me”. But instead of being like, “Oh
hey, excuse me could you like “start getting this out?” Your body’s like, “Get this out! “Get it out of me!” The best way that I can describe it is like a chainsaw has
gone haywire inside of you and it’s trying to get out. They get so bad, that you
will barf on yourself. I’ve literally barfed on
myself during a contraction. Blaaahh! It’s bad, it’s not pretty. The rest is not much
prettier, but at least we got that over with. Next, modesty goes out the window! When you are giving
birth, you are basically a live vagina exhibit
because it’s just a cycle of people coming in and out of the room, checking on your lady parts. There’s a woman who
will come in every hour to shove her hand up and
tell you how far open it is. Okay. There’ll be a random man
walking in, like lift up my hospital gown and be
like, “Mmm, hmm yeah.” Write something down and leave. And I’m like, “Can you at
least tell me your name “if you’re going to be looking at that?!” But the worst part is you
don’t even care at that point. I was like, “You can look
as long as looking is gonna “help me get this out”. Next, the flood gates. Your water does not
break like in the movies. A lot of the time you
will go into labor first and then your water will break at the most inconvenient time. So, in my first labor my
water decided to break as the anesthesiologist was
sticking in the epidural needle and that’s like the most key part, because if he misses
with that needle he could potentially cripple me or kill me! And so he’s there just like
“Okay, hold perfectly still,” and my body is just like (water splashing) “There you go!” And then with the second, my water broke as the nurse was hunched
over me, checking because I wasn’t progressing and she
wanted to get a closer look. Just like (water splashing)
like blasted her in the chest. She was like, “Ohhh! And like the water’s
crashing around the bed and she wrote on her chart copious fluids, because she said that was
the most she’s ever seen in her life. I’m sorry Linda. I blasted you with amniotic fluid. I’m, this one’s for you. So speaking of epidurals,
the epidural is like medically sanctioned hard-core drugs. And I don’t do drugs, but
whatever’s in epidurals, I’m sure they sell that on the street, ’cause I was tripping
balls on my epidural. With both of the epidurals
I’ve collectively said some of the most embarrassing
things that I’ve ever said in my entire life. I was telling the nurse about my love for Rick Springfield’s butt. I was telling the anesthesiologist,
in front of my husband, how much I loved him. “Oh my god, I love you so much! “You wanna just get married? “I just love you so much!” It’s like waking up the
next morning after being totally wasted, and texting
something really embarrassing to your ex. You like wake up from the epidural and you’re like, “Oh
god, what did I say?!” (groans) And I’m very grateful, but
I will never be able to look any of those people in the eye again. I didn’t even know I
liked Rick Springfield until I had my second son. (teeth clink on wine glass) Ow! Which brings us to the last
topic, the fear factor. Childbirth is probably the most terrifying thing I’ve ever experienced in my life. Because you go in to this
completely unknown territory, with a plan, you have your birth plan, but once you’re in the
trenches of childbirth, your birth plan is not
necessarily what’s gonna work to get the child out. For example, with my youngest his heart rate completely dropped as I was pushing him out. I had no idea what was going
on, it was just all of a sudden just pure chaos
and a million people rushed into the room. The doctor pulled out a
suction thing, just sucked him out of me and handed him
off to some other people. I didn’t even hear him cry. My husband didn’t get to cut the cord. And my first words, when he
came out, were, “Is he dead?” Because I thought that he had died. Luckily he did not, but
it’s the most terrifying thing of all time. I’m not trying to scare you. I just think that everybody
should go in knowing exactly how scary it is. And my hope is that by
telling you that it’s going to be scary, that makes
it a little less scary. Every mom who has birthed their child has gone through this
and you’re gonna be okay. You’re gonna do great. On a brighter note, once
you have the baby out, that’s when the really
scary and awful part starts. Because you have a kid. You think childbirth is
gross, try raising a kid. You think childbirth is
scary, try raising a kid. But I’m just kidding. They’re actually, they’re
blessings, it’s beautiful, it’s wonderful, kids are just blessings. It’s like 50% of the time. So, that’s all I’ve got for today. I’m Hannah, your friendly
neighborhood wine mom and if you have a birth story
that you would like to share, I would love to read it,
so leave it in the comments because I love hearing about
other women’s birth stories and just all the different
crazy, funny stuff that happens. I don’t know about you,
but this video has made me super, super hungry. So I’m gonna go eat some pizza. Hope you are inspired to have more babies. ‘Til next time! Bye, bye, go, go away. (giggles)

100 Comments

a and h for ever

Jun 6, 2019, 5:22 pm Reply

Im 18 and 36 weeks pregnant. Im only slightly terrified lol

chelsea duemo

Jun 6, 2019, 6:45 pm Reply

Contractions for me weren't the bad part. The bad part was pushing because she got stuck. Almost did it all natural but had to have the epidural to help get her out.

macabre Ducet

Jun 6, 2019, 9:50 pm Reply

Your vagina stinks like rotten fish in this video 🍣

Railene Talbot

Jun 6, 2019, 3:50 am Reply

This only adds to all the horror and reasons why I do not want to have a child. I am a very private person and would barricade my damn door if anyone but my doctor and nurse came in the room.

Mainly Jaz

Jun 6, 2019, 7:50 am Reply

I’m 13….why am I here

Beth Lines

Jun 6, 2019, 12:52 pm Reply

I’m 10 someone explain how I got here

Foua

Jun 6, 2019, 11:54 pm Reply

I only had one baby…had the epidural for placebo effect. I had a push button to use it whenever needed but used it only once. I was supposed to turn my body for smooth epidural application but the nurses failed to help me so I felt more pain on one side of my hip. When dilated enough to push, I pushed during the contractions to offset the pain- not knowing then that that is what you’re suppose to do. I compare giving birth to getting your wisdom tooth pulled, of course giving birth wins the medal.

Ella Thompson

Jun 6, 2019, 1:48 pm Reply

The worst part of childbirth: having children 😂😂

Elisabetta Errico

Jun 6, 2019, 2:12 pm Reply

I want to be a mom so bad, but I'm scared of the pain of contractions (because I don't handle well pain) and also epidural, because I'm afraid of needles. I don't know how I'm going to survive through this

J h

Jun 6, 2019, 2:18 am Reply

I'm here after she had a miscarriage~~~~~ I'm going to cry

KC S

Jun 6, 2019, 4:12 pm Reply

What am I doing here? I am 16, a virgin, and am disgusted by the thought of me doing the nasty. Why do I watch pregnancy videos?

applejack

Jun 6, 2019, 6:51 pm Reply

Good thing I never planned on having kids…

Mona Moore

Jun 6, 2019, 7:42 pm Reply

I had miscarriage it's was the worst pain in my life
I will never ever be pregnant again

SodaAvenue

Jun 6, 2019, 2:05 am Reply

Hi all already pregnant woman, i have a question:
I heard from my neighbours before that if you done injection of epidural when giving birth….*some ppl will get some sort of pain 1 month after pregnancy.* some ppl get pain in their late 50 / 60s. . . is that true? also heard that the anaesthetic doc / nurse gotta be super experienced if not you suffer later on ( the pain i mention earlier ). please Please enlighten me on this! tia ~

Christina Cathryn

Jun 6, 2019, 5:13 am Reply

Medical kidnapping is scary

Karrie Luther

Jun 6, 2019, 4:46 pm Reply

Should also mention when your water breaks its not always one big flow. My Dr broke my water and it felt like i was peeing myself for a good while.

KittyCatgomeowmeow 10

Jun 6, 2019, 6:47 pm Reply

Lol I’m underage so I’m drinking milk In a wine glass

eww it’s me

Jun 6, 2019, 6:54 pm Reply

iM f*CkInG eLeVeN … wHy oN eArTh aM i hErE?

cool91725 Gaming

Jun 6, 2019, 10:08 pm Reply

My mom didn’t take any epidural or whatever it’s called

The Road to Cosplay and Comic Con

Jun 6, 2019, 9:26 am Reply

I DON'T WANT BABIES
I WILL ADOPT

lexie harris

Jun 6, 2019, 3:01 pm Reply

I am actually 19 weeks pregnant and this made me feel alot better, about it all!

bianca

Jun 6, 2019, 10:33 pm Reply

wtf ew

Ashley’s Treasures

Jun 6, 2019, 12:48 am Reply

Thank you for this. I'm 31 weeks pregnant with my first child and I'm excited and terrified of labor and delivery

Ally R

Jun 6, 2019, 2:48 am Reply

My younger brother started peeing blood mixed with pee all over the nurse when he was born

Abigail G

Jun 6, 2019, 3:09 am Reply

Heyo, virgins!

kristina sophie

Jun 6, 2019, 9:35 pm Reply

Okay but is this the haunted house from BuzzFeed Unsolved?

lollipop xoxo

Jun 6, 2019, 11:20 pm Reply

Is anyone else crying? CAUSE I AM. OH MY GOD.

Sharralynn Pierce Woolworth

Jun 6, 2019, 6:45 am Reply

Where have you Been? You're hysterical And informative!!! Great fun! Keep it up! And don't let ANYONE TELL YOU NOT TO DRINK THE WINE!!!

paula celusta

Jun 6, 2019, 1:52 am Reply

dear buzzfeed, is this lady the only mother you know?

Fox warrior fight meh UwU

Jun 6, 2019, 2:56 am Reply

Girl.why you drinking while you being’ haunted by demons.

Lenis Quispe

Jun 6, 2019, 3:35 am Reply

Babies smell good.

👃

Ayda Hawart El-baff

Jun 6, 2019, 6:34 pm Reply

13 hours of labor induction my baby's heartbeat started to drop so i ended up Delivering via emergency C-SECTION…

Is Ra

Jun 6, 2019, 9:41 pm Reply

I had a miscarriage and it was the most painful thing I ever experienced, now I'm pregnant and just can't imagine going through that pain again, it's terrifying 😣

stpacifico TM

Jun 6, 2019, 4:17 pm Reply

I respect women so much… they do so many wonderful things and suffer a lot, but many people still don’t respect them

Karolina Machalica

Jun 6, 2019, 5:40 pm Reply

I have exams… what am I doing here…

jungshook taehyung

Jun 6, 2019, 9:04 pm Reply

Apparently when my mum was giving birth to me ,she was cursing at the nurses and doctors because it was a lot of pain 😂😂and my dad was realllllyyyyyy embarrassed and for some reason i didn’t cry that much 😅😂

majalind

Jun 6, 2019, 1:03 pm Reply

4 months til I have to do this and I'm so scared 🥴 wish there was another way lmao

rainbow foxtail

Jun 6, 2019, 4:26 am Reply

I'm 12

ur_mom

Jun 6, 2019, 12:38 pm Reply

my mom's friend was giving birth for 22 hours. Belive it or not.

Sarah Kreitz

Jun 6, 2019, 6:36 am Reply

Oh hell no

Jill Carver

Jun 6, 2019, 1:59 pm Reply

I thought my anesthesiologist was George Lopez and I tried kissing him

Khanya T

Jun 6, 2019, 6:56 pm Reply

2019???😄🤗

Jas

Jul 7, 2019, 5:26 am Reply

“Kids are just blessings”

takes mouthful of wine

Sarah

Jul 7, 2019, 6:44 am Reply

Get the pre-opt shot! I had one for back pain and it was wonderful. I even asked, the anesthesiologist if I could get the shot “to go”! 🙂 Yes, the epidural shot is a slight pinch like a routine shot. But after that, you do not remember a thing, pain wise! Congratulations on the new arrival!

Enas Al Wawi

Jul 7, 2019, 1:59 pm Reply

I have five kids yes five!!! Two of them were born without epidural I cannot forgot all the pain I went through the pain vanished when I hold my babies.

Bad ghaca 5346

Jul 7, 2019, 6:20 am Reply

I'm not a mom, but I love this

Laela Salinas

Jul 7, 2019, 8:01 pm Reply

I'm a virgin wtf am i doing here

Spider woman

Jul 7, 2019, 2:28 am Reply

I’m watching this because last night I had a dream that I had a baby not knowing I was pregnant in the first place

Yuri Trash

Jul 7, 2019, 3:41 pm Reply

Fun fact: You don't need to apologize to your nurse because they understand and are completely used to it♥️

Devon Declan

Jul 7, 2019, 5:17 am Reply

I’m always nervous that my mom will hear me watching storytimes and be like “DEVON ARE YOU PREGNANT WTF DEVON”

stemmely

Jul 7, 2019, 3:57 am Reply

lesbians laugh in the distance

Amanda Gomez

Jul 7, 2019, 6:49 am Reply

I keep putting off this video I'm 39 weeks pregnant and I'll be induced in 2 days….heh

katie miles

Jul 7, 2019, 1:47 am Reply

This video made me start crying 😭 I’m due in December and I’m so scared.

Jeanette

Jul 7, 2019, 2:15 pm Reply

I appreciate you being realistic about this…so few mothers actually talk about this and how traumatic certain parts of childbirth can be. I'm not a mom but obviously am interested in the future and am heavily leaning on adoption. I would like to have a biological baby but the horror stories are pretty disheartening…

I’m probably procrastinating

Jul 7, 2019, 4:09 am Reply

No one:
Not a single soul:
Like literally nobody:
YouTube: 𝗹𝗲𝘁𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗮 12 𝘆𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗼𝗹𝗱 𝗯𝗼𝘆

Faith Curtis

Jul 7, 2019, 4:17 am Reply

I’m almost 16 weeks pregnant and this funnily helped

Taylays Tay

Jul 7, 2019, 1:46 am Reply

She looks like a total emo not a mom that drinks

CharlieTiel

Jul 7, 2019, 3:50 am Reply

That splash for your "water breaking" was great! I laughed so hard I snorted! Thanks!

I hadn't thought of it until now, but it's true… we really don't care that a bunch of people are looking and touching our lady parts. We've got one thing in mind. "Can I push!?" :p

Jennifer Norwood

Jul 7, 2019, 3:57 am Reply

I 100% appreciate the honesty!!!

-S U N F L O W E R-

Jul 7, 2019, 2:37 pm Reply

I'm 12, watching this video… I should go to bed😂

Elvi Meow

Jul 7, 2019, 1:49 pm Reply

Cant help but to look at her hair and not focusing on anything else

Misty Archer

Jul 7, 2019, 3:38 pm Reply

So they have this like sheet over your legs when you're delivering.. when my daughter was born her dad cut the cord and they started to take her over to get checked out but she grabbed the sheet and started dragging it with her 😂 they had to pry her little fingers off of it!

cadence alice

Jul 7, 2019, 3:40 pm Reply

I’m not ready omg…

Amber Cowie

Jul 7, 2019, 4:41 pm Reply

Is it true that you poo during labour

Joanna Antreou

Jul 7, 2019, 4:53 pm Reply

NOT A GOOD VIDEO TO WATCH WHEN PREGNANT……AND AFRAID OF BIRTH!

Pale Girl

Jul 7, 2019, 9:14 pm Reply

My daughter is 14 months old and I had to have her by c section as the induction wasn't working, her vitals became unstable and I started peeing blood. For some reason this video made me cry! Perhaps it was more traumatic than I realised.

Random Person

Jul 7, 2019, 9:24 pm Reply

When she started talking about her puking I laughed my head off

Bee B E A U T I F U L

Jul 7, 2019, 11:19 am Reply

After my first baby I was really angry no one told me the gritty stuff. Ppl only told me the lovely stuff but nothing about what happens to my body. So these videos are good!
Ps. Ring of fire. That is all

Steph Pavao

Jul 7, 2019, 8:15 pm Reply

Sounds like endometriosis, only you don’t get the miracle of life 😓

Elizabeth Reichlin

Jul 7, 2019, 3:22 am Reply

Just gave birth today, 100% natural water birth at a center. 6 hours of labor, 1 hour of pushing. First time mom.

Let me say this to all the expectant moms:

You never know just how strong you are until after you hold your child for the first time.

Hannah McGuffmacott

Jul 7, 2019, 9:21 pm Reply

I'm 14 so I can't drink so just let me grap my grape juice

Vicky Mancilla

Jul 7, 2019, 5:57 am Reply

When I gave birth, my epidural didn’t work. I was at the hospital for 3 days in LABOR! Worth it though

Mixedprincesa32 Mcclain

Jul 7, 2019, 9:49 pm Reply

For me the worst part was pushing and I did it natural my labor was 36 hours from start to finish when his shoulders came out I was begging for a csection lol

Fwooba :p

Jul 7, 2019, 10:24 pm Reply

why am i watching this

Ralilah Culver

Jul 7, 2019, 1:00 am Reply

As a soon-to-be mama, I needed this!

Pavlína Knířová

Jul 7, 2019, 6:26 pm Reply

Thats weird, I dont know any of these, because my son was born c-section and I was fully asleep, yeah even as mother I have no idea how childbirth looks like. 😀

Haruhi Fujioka

Aug 8, 2019, 12:04 pm Reply

this is why im terrified

Jasmine Jones

Aug 8, 2019, 12:27 am Reply

I'm lesbian.
I don't have to go through this unless I do it unnaturally, but I don't think I'd do that.

Leah Grace Fecteau

Aug 8, 2019, 1:49 am Reply

lol good video

Aditi Bharti

Aug 8, 2019, 3:57 pm Reply

Conclusion: the best part of childbirth is possibly the sex 😂 and nothing after that!!! NOTHING!!!!!

Stef Yaquelin

Aug 8, 2019, 8:25 pm Reply

I’m 8 weeks pregnant & this was helpful yet nerve wracking

Monee’ Oliver

Aug 8, 2019, 7:02 am Reply

Sooo I'm going to stick with being an aunt until…yeah just until

Virgoae

Aug 8, 2019, 5:22 pm Reply

Chainsaw inside you😂

Certified Weenie

Aug 8, 2019, 6:12 pm Reply

😭 “ I don’t care because you deserve to know.”

Magicalsecrets422

Aug 8, 2019, 3:24 pm Reply

and you thought pooping was hard

Jamilee Conley

Aug 8, 2019, 9:31 pm Reply

My water broke before labor so it was extra painful😭😭

S RH

Aug 8, 2019, 9:34 pm Reply

Haha

Alsesha Sycamore

Aug 8, 2019, 5:27 pm Reply

I could have died when I was born. My mum nearly had to choose between me or her

Life is Too short89

Aug 8, 2019, 9:43 pm Reply

Lol love this!! You’re so fun and hilarious! I had it easy!! Nice and easy specifically scheduled quick c-sections for me!! Actually wasn’t bad at all c-section wise😇❤️

Vision Marie

Aug 8, 2019, 6:13 am Reply

This was hilarious 😂 but not the having a baby part 😑 she’s just super funny 💯

Iridescent Vampire

Aug 8, 2019, 3:10 am Reply

I think contractions would also feel like a samurai sword slicing you from the inside

trying.and. failing

Aug 8, 2019, 11:47 pm Reply

me: *absolutely does not want children, and if i ever do will definitely adopt*
also me: *watches video about childbirth*

(i’m just kidding educating yourself is really important even if you probably won’t ever have first hand experience)

Emma Rose

Aug 8, 2019, 11:46 pm Reply

1:37 when I noticed I start my period the next day

GirlYouDon’tKnow 2295

Sep 9, 2019, 3:38 am Reply

Not to come off as a feminist, but anyone out there who thinks that women are weak need to keep in mind that it was a woman who pushed them out of her body when they were small.

Sarah Jimenez

Sep 9, 2019, 1:44 pm Reply

My dad told me that my mom didn't scream once during childbirth. She must have a very high tolerance for pain!

Faye Tran

Sep 9, 2019, 3:54 pm Reply

2 childbirths, 2 hours each, no epidural both times, 2-3 degree torn, water broke in the hospital both times.
The most important part was that I divorced so I wouldn’t get pregnant again. (Just kidding)
But yah: no more children for me. 😀 I hated my 7 months of morning sickness! It didn’t go away after the first trimester. :((

Negricana Cx

Sep 9, 2019, 6:58 am Reply

I was 36 weeks pregnant with my daughter and my water broke cleaning the toilet but I didn't go to the hospital until 3 hours later. I went on and started bleeding on the floor, they told me I was 4 cm dilated. And I had her June 23rd 2018 at 11:09am

Etihad airways

Sep 9, 2019, 1:14 pm Reply

I felt contrapcetions like I was going crazy I was shouting holding my stomach and my sister took me to the car and I farted.

Womby Will

Sep 9, 2019, 4:26 am Reply

I'm a 14 year old straight Male, wtf am I doing here?

Hadiyah Allie

Sep 9, 2019, 4:54 am Reply

My mother told me i tried to push myself out of her when giving birth to me and the nurses tried to push me back in as her doctor was not there yet! But i forced myself out, came sliding out and was born with no doctor 🤣 and now im 35 weeks pregnant and i hope my baby will easily slide out like i did and be healthy! Wish me luck everyone!😁

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