TEDxNewy 2011 – Liz Mullinar – Treating the core problem of childhood trauma.

By Brian Lemay 100 comments

Translator: Mohand Habchi
Reviewer: Daniel Cosovanu Can anyone explain to me why we spend millions
and millions of dollars on educating about
drug prevention, don’t take drugs
because they’re bad for you. And allowing parents
to worry themselves sick about will my child
get into drugs because they mix
in a bad company. They don’t have
to worry at all. People are addicted to drugs,
because of their pain. So they are not going to do it
because they’re in bad company. It just because they have
suffered some trauma, and it’s not an easy thing
to solve and heal from. Let’s take an issue
that the last two speakers have both talked about: mental illness. Across a research,
academic search over the whole of research
into this area in 2005: 69.9% of psychiatric inpatients, with serious psychotic disorders, you probably guessed, yes all of them had suffered
from childhood trauma. Bipolar disorder was mentioned. 82 to 86 % of people
with bipolar disorder, have suffered from some
form of childhood trauma. Border personality disorder: 90% have suffered. Then let’s talk about the one
that we have been million, 79 million dollars last year spent
on raising awareness of: depression. How many people
who suffer from depression do you think have suffered
from childhood trauma or abuse? 80%, research tells us. And how many of you here
have heard one word about what’s happened
in your childhood, and might help you to heal
from your depression or anxiety. So what we are doing, raising awareness, so that we can
feed the pharmaceutical companies! So that people can take
more medication! Because after all in Australia, we take more anti-depressants
than any other country in the world. I work with survivors
of childhood trauma, and I know from
my independent research, that four years after
just a five-day program, there is a highly
statistically significant — can never say that word, highly statistically
significant reduction in depression. Six months after
a five-day program, a 45% reduction,
in measured serious mental illness. So what’s the silence? Why don’t we talk about this? Why we not allowed
to acknowledge childhood trauma? Why we not encouraged
to heal from childhood trauma? What we know,
because of neuro-plasticity, that this is possible. Let me discover one other
area of deep human sadness. An area that we all
care passionately about, and when it hits us,
it really, really hurts. And I’m talking about suicide. How agonizing it is. The young women I work with at Heal For Life; I have one common complaint
when they go to hospital having tried to kill themselves: nobody ever asks why? And if they did they will get the same answer
from all those young people. Because of my internal pain
from my childhood. Because I think I am worthless,
I worth nothing. Because no one cares
about the fact that I’ve been abused. And if I look at them, Esperance which in the Central Coast runs a wonderful suicide
prevention service. Tony Humphrey,
wrote to me and said, “Around 90% of all the women, who have attempted suicide who I have worked with, have ever suffered
from sexual abuse or child abuse of some type. And a slightly lower
percentage for the men.” So have any of you, ever seen anything
about suicide prevention, which is talked about
what happened in your childhood? Has there been a campaign
which has said, “Ask a friend
when they’re down. What happened
in your childhood? Talk to me about
your childhood. Because that is
very, very likely, to have an impact
on your current mental well-being.” So maybe for a moment
some of you maybe think “What she keeps talking
about childhood trauma and abuse? What actually is it? Childhood trauma
covers a huge spectrum. It covers abandonment,
death of the parents, alcoholic parents, childhood sexual abuse,
physical abuse, emotional abuse. It covers of course
natural disasters. What happens
when a trauma occurs? A trauma is more emotion
than the brain can deal with. Trauma, at the time it is happening, the person,
in an age-appropriate way thinks that their life is threatened. And the brain reacts to this trauma and develops differently, which is why childhood trauma
has a much bigger impact on behavior later and the whole way the brain
operates later in life. Trauma cannot be remembered. Let me give you
an example of this, and that’s because
the conscious brain shuts down during trauma. You may remember
or you may not. Princess Diana’s bodyguard, after they were try to find out
what actually happened in the accident, they hypnotized, the French police
hypnotized the man so that he could remember. So that part of his brain
could be unlocked. So that he could say what actually
happened at that moment of impact. So I suppose
my great wishes that this silence
could be broken. And I have hope that
this silence can be broken. Because 40 years ago, there was the big C, there was cancer. No one talked
about cancer, we didn’t mentioned it, it was just,
“They have got the big C!” But now wonderfully everyone talks about cancer. We know people
who have suffered from cancer. We talk to them,
we encourage them, we love them, and they tell us immediately
when they have cancer. Can you imagine how it would be, if in my lifetime —
this is my longing, that people talk
about childhood trauma. That is Ok to say, “I had a terrible childhood.
All these things happened.” And the other
person listening says, “Let me support you.
Let me help you in your healing. Let me help you
work through what is happened for the development of your brain, because you suffered
from childhood trauma.” Wouldn’t that be
a better world for all of us? Because what is creating
this silence? Is the embarrassment? Is it shame? Are we shamed by the stigma? Because we are not allowed to know when there is a rape victim,
the name of the rape victim. As if in some way
that rape was their fault! Why is it that all the concentration
is on stranger danger, and church abuse?
When that’s about 1% of all abuse! Abuse happens in the home
and it happens to families. But every single one of you here, can help change that. If each one of you
help me in my big idea. If each one of you who’s actually suffered
from childhood trauma says, “I have no reason
to be ashamed of it. It wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t my fault
for my childhood was not perfect. And I deserve
love and support.” If those of you when you meet, someone who’s addicted
from gambling, alcohol, drugs, if you say them, “Hey, has anyone
ever discussed with you what happened
in your childhood? Do you think you might like
to heal from your childhood?” If only with any moment
the mental illness you could say them not just — which is a wonderful campaign,
but, “Are you Ok?” but,
“Hey do you want to talk about what happened
in your childhood? Because I understand an awful
lot of people with mental illness have suffered from some form
of childhood trauma. Talk to me about it. Every single one of you
could do that. Every single one of you
can help me achieve my big idea. Every single one of you can get involved
with the Heal For Life foundation, and help us to make this world
a happy place. I leave you with
one final thought. I wonder what it would
have happened to this world, if someone
had healed Adolf Hitler, from his much acknowledged
child abuse. Thank you. (Applause)


Alaina Reilly

Nov 11, 2015, 3:46 pm Reply

See the book titled "Unchained Memories" by Dr. Lenore Kerr. We have 6 types of memories.

C. Meagan Michael

Nov 11, 2015, 3:53 am Reply

Amazing.. Thank you LIz. I would love to speak with you on this topic. C. Meagan Michael

limptastic genesis

Nov 11, 2015, 6:25 pm Reply

Humor is some of the best medicine. i went through quite intense childhood trauma with my parents, and sometimes the best way to make sense of it all is too make it funny. This may sound quite difficult to do, and it often can be, but it can also work wonders. Make your life happy with laughter even when concerning your traumatic past. It helps, it really does.


Nov 11, 2015, 2:41 am Reply

I looked her and her retreat up. There are concerning things she and her retreat are accused of. Tread carefully

Jason West

Jan 1, 2016, 4:33 pm Reply

Symptomatically mentally ill people are more likely to self report trauma. This is the same as depressed people being unable to recall positive memories or recalling them, but not associating them with happiness. 63 percent of Bipolar people self report trauma in childhood, compared to 33 percent in the control group. These are the numbers in a recent study.

Electro Christ

Mar 3, 2016, 8:58 pm Reply

Amazing woman…

Katherine Maurer

Mar 3, 2016, 11:48 am Reply

Blame your traumatic childhood on Disney. ; )

alys Freeman

Mar 3, 2016, 3:20 pm Reply

Interesting counter information…..

Daisy McCrackin

Jun 6, 2016, 6:17 am Reply


Mark Anthony Hamilton

Jun 6, 2016, 2:32 pm Reply

Having gone through it and recovered I now have workshops specific for 16-25 year old…
Empowering our youth for a sea of change!
Liz I am with you.
After almost 30 years of food addiction I can resonate and have full awareness with multiple tools now.
Heal for life! Yeah!
I say Unlocking Your Life…


Jun 6, 2016, 3:32 pm Reply

Words of truth.


Jun 6, 2016, 6:56 pm Reply

Watching such videos makes me feel hopeless even more. Basically she's saying we should talk about it, a problem shared is a problem halved.
I don't really need to talk about it. I've been to several counselors and just sitting in that dingy room and reliving all the horrible stuff that happened in my childhood doesn't make me feel better.
What we need is strategies. What to actually DO NOW. Just talking about it doesn't change anything. We need to DO something about it.

Ben Reil

Jun 6, 2016, 5:11 pm Reply

I want to create "Free Baby Stuff" stores every 3 miles apart in every major city. Fill them with your gently used, donated baby and child items. Strollers, clothes, and new diapers, formula. Parents/caregivers get to choose a free item for each parenting video they watch there in the store. 100 videos such as this Talk to show parents how badly they affect their child by arguing in front of them, etc…. The items in the store can have points tags as price tags. You earn a point for each minute the video is long. So to earn a stroller or high priced item, you have to rack up more video watched points, but the points should never be made difficult to earn nor the items over pricey. It's got to be so easy that it is fun. If you bring a care giver partner with you, you earn double points when both watch a video. I need sponsors, volunteers, shop space, and donations. I don't mind if you steal my idea and start up without me. This needs to be made available everywhere by everyone willing to give back to their community. Certainly churches could do it in their nursery. The only way we make earth better is by raising children better and by having fewer of them so that they all receive equal attention, while saving space on the planet for wildlife.

H. A. Ryosa

Jun 6, 2016, 11:41 pm Reply

I've read some other comments to the effect of "just remembering it doesn't help, what is it exactly that helps us heal?" Perhaps I can offer some insight. I wrote a book about my difficult relationship with my father and in doing so, discovered a lot of interesting things about his life in WW2 and cold war era. By learning what he went through, I began to understand what led to his behaviors, and that he wasn't actually so different from me. He went through many of the same things, and sometimes much, much worse as well. Totally opened my eyes and taught me to have more empathy for other people.


Jul 7, 2016, 5:43 pm Reply

Wish I could get help from someone like this. Alas, I have nothing and cannot work.

Morgan Anthony

Jul 7, 2016, 10:02 pm Reply

Thank you Liz Mullinar from speaking up about this and so passionately.


Aug 8, 2016, 1:09 am Reply

its a complex, dialectic answer: if it were inflicted upon us by them, we often, so want to love our abusive caregivers.

April Sunshine

Sep 9, 2016, 8:16 am Reply

I work in mental health, specifically with patients who've had a psychotic break serious enough to require arrest and hospitalizatin and I cannot name one single patient I've seen who hasn't experienced childhood trauma. Not. Even. One.

Marina’s Musings

Oct 10, 2016, 3:26 am Reply

Open yourself to self-exploration & just watch what happens! Simply describing it, discussing it & examining it.. changes it! The question is not 'what facts do you recall?' .. but 'what feelings do you feel when you think deep down into your core?'
And remember.. trauma can simply mean an earthquake or hurricane, but more often, sadly, is all in the parent's hands.


Oct 10, 2016, 7:47 am Reply

She is however wrong about Hitler, and his childhood abuse by his father CAUSING him to be mean and becoming Der Fuehrer… Abused he may have been… but his desire for power is fueled by thoughts of revenge for the way world war 1 ended… he and others felt betrayed by their government, and he joins the Nazi Party… he did not found it…Anton Drexler did….WHO????….Exactly. Hitler just became a good speak for the ideals of the party and rose to the top… becoming Chancellor, and dictator had NOTHING to do with Hitlers Childhood abuse… it was about REVENGE for the Treaty of Versailles, and the Armistice… the learned lady is in error…..
What if Hitler had gotten treatment after WW1 for his DISGRUNTLEMENT???? THAT should have been the question…. BEFORE WW1…"Before embarking on a political career in September 1919 at the age of
thirty, Adolf Hitler had been a nonentity. With no formal
qualifications, he had become an aimless drifter and failed artist
before joining the army on the outbreak of war in August 1914. There he
was not considered worthy of promotion because of 'a lack of leadership
qualities', although his award of the Iron Cross First Class showed that
he did not lack courage. "
THUS HE WAS NOT A BULLY!!!!! it was his WAR EXPERIENCE that changes him and his coming home and how he finds Germany….it was also his POLITICAL IDEALS growing up….which were Nationalist, and anti-Semitic… and it is NOT his father's doing, but SCHOOL of the time….it was the way history was taught….
When war breaks out…."with the outbreak of war in 1914, he enthusiastically volunteered to
serve in a Bavarian regiment. Service in the Army at last provided
Hitler with a purpose in life, a major project with which he could
wholly identify. All the greater, therefore, was the shock of defeat and
the victory of the hated Socialists in the revolution of November 1918."


X Boomer

Oct 10, 2016, 1:56 am Reply

The CORE of ANY trauma, including Childhood Trauma, is…..SHOCK…. my technique can get at shock… and take down the Traumatic Charge of it….


Nov 11, 2016, 2:27 pm Reply

erm….I'm not ashamed. I just don't want to remember it because the idea of recalling my trauma scared the heck out of me. What do I do then?

Debbie J.

Nov 11, 2016, 10:08 pm Reply

I do not understand why these videos and lectures are so short. It gets frustrating because the person just starts getting into the subject and you are left hanging. Are there places like "Netflix" where you can watch the entire lecture? I personally feel like we recreate circumstances lifetime after lifetime based on different spiritual frequencies or issues until we become aware enough to let them go and replace them with more positive in put. It means we have to make it a quiet, mindful inner journey hopefully with support from others who are able to guide us. We can not be afraid to feel. Yet that is what our entire society is based on is escape through TV. or video games, etc. We need other people who recognize that all of us are on this journey of healing together.

Daiyah Sayed

Jan 1, 2017, 4:36 am Reply

wow…nailed it!! I'm so so happy to hear this. there's nothing truer about drugs

Lukas Williams

Jan 1, 2017, 2:18 am Reply

Amazing, and spot on. People in comments saying don't talk about it, have pain that's to scary to talk about. So then they point fingers

Heather Cameron

Jan 1, 2017, 9:30 am Reply

EMDR has been shown to have very good results. I had a few sessions and it was incredible. I thoroughly recommend it.

snj prl

Jan 1, 2017, 12:25 am Reply

I didn't even make it 2 minutes into the video without tears running down my face… it's almost 2 am in the morning and here I am… on my computer, trying to find a solution to my insomnia as well as my inability to keep up with day to day life or my inner exhaustion. I know once you enter school and sure enough once you have left school and wonder out into the world – nobody cares about your story anymore. The past is in the past, they say – but the pain… oh the pain… the pain is always there. And if I get lucky it's my choice to feel it. But there are days where I am that 4 year old girl… that just wanted to exsist and then became a 14 year old that wanted to die. Now – another 10 years later – I am still here. So I guess I found some way of dealing with it…

Kaela Creighton

Feb 2, 2017, 10:31 pm Reply

They make society weak.  I think it's easier to control that way.  Many white people, if they go into a black home or spend a lot of time with real blacks, will think the black children are being abused.  Many are, but their outlook is different.  It's a stronger mentality for a tougher world.

Runze Boo

Mar 3, 2017, 3:07 pm Reply

I just hate my parents. My mom never had any friends in her life, she was always argue with my dad when he is at home (my dad was traveling a lot for work). And she was always gave me a sad/angry face. My dad is verbally and physically abusive towards me, and my mom is always in denial and she takes my dad's side. They had done so many terrible things on me and I wish I am not exist!
I don't have any siblings and close friends. I only have some acquaintances. Overall, I am just not a happy person.

Sophie Jones

Mar 3, 2017, 4:02 pm Reply

because you can't take a pill for childhood trauma. But you can take a serotonin blocker for anxiety.
the best thing that I can say for the medication I took was that it enabled me to talk things out with my mom. But that only works for someone who is 1) still in contact with their parents and 2) when the reason for the trauma was a genuine mistake. But what the doctor won't tell you is that those pills screw up your libido and other functions. The whole time I was on it, I basically was acting like I was grieving. I couldn't find anything interesting, and couldn't connect with people. The medication did control the symptoms but it caused a whole bunch of other problems. I'm not entirely sure it was worth it.

Hang Su

Apr 4, 2017, 2:21 pm Reply

it wasn't my fault for the imperfect childhood and I deserve love and support.

Toughen Up, Fluffy

Apr 4, 2017, 4:26 am Reply

I think there's way more trauma everywhere than anyone's willing to admit. Is it really normal for the majority in a society to enjoy violent entertainments? Doesn't the subconscious take it all in and sublimate it? Isn't that why the media has whitewashed war reporting, so no body bags are ever seen? In light of all this, doesn't it make sense that mass murders occur? And one more thing—why are you still reading this? Don't you have better things to do?

Aneeta Pearson

Apr 4, 2017, 11:28 pm Reply

What an excellent presentation by Liz Mullinar. Her knowledge of childhood trauma is remarkable. It is wonderful that presenters are given a platform to present pertinent issues that affects the lives of many individuals.


Apr 4, 2017, 10:11 pm Reply

still very taboo as people have a hard time seeing accidents happen and people make mistakes, even best parents and families…. if cannot talk about it, cannot heal well…. took me years of therapy to get to core


Apr 4, 2017, 10:13 pm Reply

please break the silence and let people remember to talk about childhood no matter how old as life is always impt in home

Ajay Lack

Apr 4, 2017, 1:02 pm Reply

I am an Aussie with complex PTSD & your speech is inspirational. Thank you

Pfff Okey

Jun 6, 2017, 2:44 pm Reply





Jun 6, 2017, 3:27 am Reply

HOW TO HEAL YOURSELF FROM ABUSE : read Beverly Engel books , like "Healing Your Emotional Self", she has many books about abuse

Electron Valley

Jun 6, 2017, 1:13 pm Reply

and it's the same right now … i love to be alone …. but they force us to be social

Lawrence Davis

Jul 7, 2017, 8:25 am Reply

this is heartbreaking. I've had depression for 30 years and I knew it was childhood related.

Xavier And The Mass effect

Jul 7, 2017, 11:49 am Reply

i remember my childhood trama what does she mean you can't remember i tried for years trying to ignore and suppress it i wish i couldn't remember. god i wish i couldn't remember what happened. i wish it never happened. then maybe i would be happy?


Oct 10, 2017, 4:17 am Reply

Remember kids, you cannot spell childhood trauma without the local catholic priest

Bea M

Oct 10, 2017, 4:40 am Reply


Louisa H

Oct 10, 2017, 11:51 pm Reply

While her heart is in the right place, I don't think it’s as simple as asking someone who has experienced trauma to just “talk about it.” There is a very real risk of re-traumatizing the person. One should seek out a trauma therapist, someone who specializes in working with people who have experienced trauma.

Robin Revell

Oct 10, 2017, 9:58 pm Reply

Her very last sentence made me really sit up and think. My God, what a thought!

Bill Carson

Nov 11, 2017, 8:33 am Reply

Some parents would rather put the honor of the Queen & monarchy, church or head of the state before their own kids.

Anthony Ryan

Nov 11, 2017, 5:11 am Reply

End patriarchy and adopt matriarchy.
Prevention would be best.
Parenting – can we please get it right!


Nov 11, 2017, 2:35 pm Reply

I’d anyone needs help to heal their trauma please try EFT (emotional freedom tapping) first and EMDR as well. Brad Yates has an amazing EFT channel, and it works wonders 🙂


Nov 11, 2017, 2:26 pm Reply

EFT…Tapping…Emotional Freedom Tecnique…find it on YouTube. The best I've found to aid in functioning. And a big Thank You to Liz Mullinar for her work, insight and passion.

Belinda Watson

Dec 12, 2017, 6:10 am Reply

I had a suicide attempt in June. Nobody asked me why either they just assumed I was a mental case! I am deeply wounded by the fact that nobody wants to know. That hurts me more and isolates me more than the abuse itself! My friends and family want me to pretend im ok and happy because that serves them. They want the happy "Yes" girl back instead of this broken mess that keeps trying to "bring up the past". NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR IT….. Fact.

Love All Beings Always

Dec 12, 2017, 3:57 pm Reply

I took psilocybin mushrooms 2 days ago, after doing lots of research on the substance, and its proper use. The mushrooms revealed to me suppressed memories and emotions from my childhood and early teenage-hood that I haven’t dealt with before and buried them in my subconscious. Little did I realize before the effect that these emotions had on my behavior and personality development. But now I’m aware of the problem, and I know that fixing it won’t be easy, but now at least I know there’s hope. I had many suicidal thoughts in the past few years (I’m 24 now). P.S: I’m not encouraging the use of mushrooms, they are dangerous if you’re depressed and uninformed about the substance, I’m just sharing my experience and I hope people start taking the subject seriously.

Viva los pepes

Dec 12, 2017, 11:50 pm Reply

Way off

Viva los pepes

Dec 12, 2017, 11:57 pm Reply

Wait actually this was a great talk thank you


Dec 12, 2017, 3:51 pm Reply

Sadly the answer is no. No one has ever connected the dots. I have had many therapists say to me, " shouldn't you be over this by now?" My answer is… if I had therapy where someone addressed my trauma adequately then yes I'd be further along than I am now.


Jan 1, 2018, 5:19 pm Reply

Thank you, this is beautiful

i5 4670k

Jan 1, 2018, 10:32 pm Reply

I fully recommend Pete Walker's book, unlimited verbal ventilation, and trying everyday to love yourself unconditionally. It has helped me tremendously. I cannot even begin to imagine how much pain childhood abuse has and is causing, having experienced myself how helpless you are when it happened to you. This cruel world couldn't care less about it, because it is a slightly uncomfortable topic, so it is just ignored.

Care Bear

Feb 2, 2018, 7:12 am Reply

I have major depression and some complex PTSD. I have had several therapists. I did not improve and get in touch with any of my core trauma and beliefs until I finally felt safe with an ATTUNED therapist that could empathize with and VALIDATE my experience. Attunement and validation are crucial in a therapist. If this is not happening, please allow yourself to keep looking.

John Sykes

Feb 2, 2018, 10:40 am Reply

Thanks Liz! I love this stuff.


Feb 2, 2018, 12:30 am Reply

I am amazed that Australia has a bigger population using drugs for depression than America or Canada! I thought America and Canada were the kings of the psychotropic drug industry. I thought they were the only ones with big pharmaceutical companies ruling the health care industry. What a shame that there are more and WORSE than America and Canada. How sad!

jayden Temnoff

Mar 3, 2018, 6:02 am Reply

How can I get in touch with Liz?

Paul Cooney Jr

Mar 3, 2018, 12:10 pm Reply

Wow. Amazing point. Why is that? In my case there is this need to protect my parents — fear other people will unfairly judge them. And in my present home it's fear — of what might happen to my daughter if we dealt with it properly. There is a risk to raising your hand — even as I type this I get afraid — judgement, reporting…but you are so right.

Medi König

Apr 4, 2018, 1:39 am Reply

Looking up The Presence Process by Michael Brown could help a lot !


Apr 4, 2018, 11:55 pm Reply

Great talk. Thank you. Just to say that it only became ok to talk about cancer because there’s so much money generated by it for the big pharmaceutical companies. Here in the uk we give so much money to cancer research but the treatments stay the same, chemo.

Medic 8808

May 5, 2018, 11:52 pm Reply

Holy cow one is actually allowed to talk about past child abuse without someone basically telling me to get over it

Electron Valley

May 5, 2018, 1:13 pm Reply

it wasn't my fault , for my childhood wasn't that perfect .. and i deserve love and support

Steven Arthur

May 5, 2018, 3:45 pm Reply


I Just Love Australia

May 5, 2018, 4:27 am Reply

Thank you so much for this talk


Jun 6, 2018, 7:20 pm Reply

So now, in addition to all the cancer stories we also get childhood trauma stories ad nauseam? Most people are not equipped to deal with the nature of these stories and furthermore, what you focus on, you get more of. I've noticed that so many people start talking about their illnesses within minutes of meeting them, it seems to be en vogue. Only therapists should talk about the effects of childhood trauma with the sufferers. If you talk about your issues with friends or family too often they get bored and will shun you. Just talking about it heals nothing, absolutely nothing, you just solidify the trauma. Letting go, releasing, such as during trauma therapy followed by Emotional Self Management, that is the way to go.

Coloryourworld Perspective_MH

Jun 6, 2018, 7:45 am Reply

I have a a theory. I think we don't talk about it because it's a social and political issue. It's easier for most of us to rest on our Laurels and pretend it's not there. we could address child abuse. We could address spousal abuse. We can address emotional and verbal abuse and make it safe for one another to coexist without hearing continual and constant berating and put down Etc whether it's the average Joe on the street or your own family. I honestly don't know how we can legislate against abuse but it is an issue in our societies and cultures and politics that desperately needs to be addressed. notwithstanding that it does cause suicides and suicidal feelings. I could have very easily been a suicide statistic myself because I was raised by woman who didn't want me to be born

Edward Tagg

Jun 6, 2018, 8:11 am Reply

Maybe…. Parents are so wounded thenselves, and wound never think of sending their child to a professional, because of the inherent shame in admitting tgat they are part of the problem, unless, of course, the culprit is unknown, like a distant family friend or relative…

Edward Tagg

Jun 6, 2018, 8:15 am Reply



Jul 7, 2018, 4:17 pm Reply

"It wasn't my fault, and I deserve love and support"

I needed to hear this.

Rezza Pradana Putra

Aug 8, 2018, 6:15 pm Reply

"It wasn't my fault" – That's a strong said sentence, really came in handy, at least for me and my mind. What a beautiful speech! Thank you, thank you

Sirena Mermaid

Aug 8, 2018, 8:28 am Reply

Well said…🙏🏼

Jeanette Silhouette

Aug 8, 2018, 8:20 pm Reply

I totally remember the trauma….wtf

Micka Datwist

Aug 8, 2018, 7:39 pm Reply

one of the biggest problem in the world is that making a baby is so easy

Rafal Jakubek

Aug 8, 2018, 7:39 pm Reply

Very not PC truth : "No all mothers want good for their children, some actually hate their children, are selfish and do a lot to sabotage success of their children".


Aug 8, 2018, 5:25 pm Reply

She is giving a rather rosty view on childhood trauma. Prof. Susan Clancy gives a more recent view on the research.

Christine Badostain

Sep 9, 2018, 2:47 pm Reply

it is not only the brain—it is also the psyche that feels the pain—thank you, Liz, for a much needed voice

Rocio Guitard

Sep 9, 2018, 6:08 pm Reply

Very true what you say, I’m a therapist but families are untouchable in our society ☹️

Marcia Corbin

Sep 9, 2018, 2:03 am Reply

As a society we are bent on treating symptoms as opposed to the root in the medical community.
Ask why, when & what….


Sep 9, 2018, 10:41 pm Reply

What is the time frame we discuss when talking "childhood" trauma? Under 6? 12?

Lois Garman

Sep 9, 2018, 3:00 am Reply

Many children are blamed for their having been abused, especially if the abuse was perpetrated by a family member, a friend or a neighbor. Some mothers don't want to confront another family member because of the difficulties it will cause; they would rather, if they suspect abuse, avoid it; or, if the child tells them about the abuse accuse the child of lying which further traumatizes the child. Many young children learn that the parent they depend on for their well being cannot be trusted. It is a deeply lonely feeling, leaving many children feeling that they are at fault for being abused. These feelings follow them through life in all they do and in all their relationships, leaving them at a grave disadvantage, their chances for health and happiness stolen from them.

Truth Seeker

Sep 9, 2018, 3:12 am Reply

This woman is on point "because no one cares about how I have been abused". By the grace of God my attempts of suicide were of no success. My childhood trauma plagues me to this day. I suffer from C-PTSD and it is no joke.

Elitza Harrington

Oct 10, 2018, 5:26 pm Reply

This is not true. Most people are in denial. They say their problem is something else ,not their childhood. It takes true bravery to face the horrors and self compassion suffered people don't seen to have. They were taught to hide the pain then admit it.

Pnini Shidlovsky

Oct 10, 2018, 1:52 pm Reply

Truth, let’s help each other to get strong! Eating disorders are the top of the list, don’t feel alone share and help each other


Oct 10, 2018, 1:45 pm Reply

Do many/most of these people who suffer from mental illness only "get" it from their parents/childhoods? Or are their childhoods a problem because OF their mental illness? If you're not, say, depressed, but you marry a depressed man (or a man who becomes depressed), you must learn to guard yourself against taking responsibility for HIS depression. My beloved husband tried to kill himself as a teen, was depressed and suicidal when we met and married. (Yeah, I've got a good bit of White Knight… but we both had a lovely marriage some/much of the time…) I had to learn that I was neither cause NOR cure; that his depression was (as it turned out) his mother's mental illness as it manifested in him (both his brothers manifested it differently; but it was there). I'm NOT excusing parents, or childhood trauma — but lots of mental illness is biological or other caused: NOT how your parents treated you….

Frank Breuer

Nov 11, 2018, 12:06 pm Reply

YES, YES, YES. Rightfully you are speaking about the rediculous amounts of medications prescribed by doctors for depression (or what THEY think is depression, but often they are wrong) … The whole neglect of requirement of treatment (keyword '10 sessions Medicare "treatment") is a joke, against all common sense. The denial of real, genuine needs is what I experience several times each and every week, for the past 8 years me practicing in private practice in Australia.


Nov 11, 2018, 2:43 am Reply

generational sin. parents raising their children the same way as they themselves were raised, without questioning the methods. I had to remove myself from my parent's lives for my own well being. They can't tell the truth, and can't accept blame nor apologize for their wrongdoing, because they were raised in the same manner. They act strong to hide their weaknesses.

Aldous Smith

Nov 11, 2018, 10:56 pm Reply

Her presentation verges on angry. This does not help a traumatized person ingest anything that will do them good.


Nov 11, 2018, 4:50 pm Reply



Dec 12, 2018, 10:27 pm Reply

crying this is incredible

Amanda Ouellet

Dec 12, 2018, 3:04 am Reply

She is right 12 year olds try drugs because they don’t want to feel anymore

Jmp Jmp

Jan 1, 2019, 1:29 pm Reply

This is good and one part of recovering is acknowledging. There is excellent information on the effects of growing up with a Narcissistic parent, and more, and the trauma it causes in your life! What has been a Huge eye opener for me is how “ Spot on their description is of a Narcissistic parent, friend, partner, coworker! “ Their description”, in the YouTube search, type in recovering from Narcissistic parent, partner etc.. you will find excellent information that you are most likely going to identify with!! There is a great deal of information on how to deal with those in your life!! I have no affiliation with any of them and have yet to comment on any of their videos- I’m taking it all in and can identify with 90% of what I have heard so far!!! The Best to You in your quest for understanding and building a better life for yourself!

Justina Jane

Feb 2, 2019, 6:01 pm Reply

Yes yes yes! Please ASK ! Please let us know we are not alone!

Stephen Otoole

Feb 2, 2019, 2:01 pm Reply

More and more therapists are becoming trauma Informed and understanding the need to help their clients in the present. However I do believe it is important for clients to share their past experience and the shame and pain they have been through especially in cases of childhood abuse while fully explaining the physiological effects of Trauma. All therapists now should be working in a trauma informed way and this is something to check before you start seeing a therapist. Also You should only be sharing material you are comfortable to share in the room. If the therapist is doing their job well you should not be exposed to re- trauma. Talking therapy can be limited when dealing with trauma and there are many other somatic ( body ) therapies available that might help more; but for many being able to frame the experiences with words is the first step and therefore talking and language is usually a powerful way in helping a person recover. If it isn’t helping you, you either need a different therapist or different form of therapy. Also be honest with yourself : do you want the therapy ? What might be blocking you from moving forward?

Jeffrey Morton

Mar 3, 2019, 4:34 am Reply

As the adopted son of abusive, narcissistic, alcoholic, drug-addicted parents, I can say that nothing will ever take the pain away. Your choices are to internalize the hurt by inflicting damage  to yourself, to externalize the hurt by inflicting damage upon others, or to independently find something in life that genuinely makes you happy (and do it). Only you can find a meaning for your own existence and reasonable happiness – No one can provide it for you…

gerry avalos7

Mar 3, 2019, 1:36 pm Reply

Dont compare you personal growth to social Mask

Michelle K

Apr 4, 2019, 4:13 am Reply

I took the video as a message to health care providers about the complexity of childhood trauma. Some of her comments are pointedly directed towards them. There is not enough treatment currently available specifically for complex post-traumatic stress disorder, which is caused by childhood neglect and abuse. It seems odd that trauma has been around since forever, and there are still so few clinically proven methods of treating it. Bizarre


Apr 4, 2019, 9:41 pm Reply


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