Signs You’re A Wine Mom • Wine Mom

By Brian Lemay 100 comments


(upbeat music) – Hi, I’m Hannah, your
friendly neighborhood wine mom, and if you’re anything like me, you believe that a glass
of wine at eight p.m. makes you a better mom. So pour yourself a glass,
and let’s talk about stuff. Here’s what I’m drinking tonight. It has been a week. Both of my kids started a new day care. So it’s been acclimating
them to the new day care. It’s a Friday. My kids are not here. I’m gonna enjoy my glass of wine. We’re gonna do a Riesling
because it goes down very fast. I just chewed some gum, so it’s not going to mess with the gum. Cheers. And that brings us to this week’s topic, signs that you’re a wine mom. So first, what is a wine mom? It’s not actually a person. It is a lifestyle choice. It’s a person who prefers
sweats over pants. It’s a person who prepers, prepers. A person, per per per. It’s a person who prefers
laying on the couch, versus basically doing anything else. Last of all, it’s a person whose me time is defined by a nice glass of wine. The thing I always say about wine moms is you don’t have to be
a mom to be a wine mom. It’s a lifestyle, it’s a way of life. That being said, let’s go
over the attire of a wine mom. We go for comfort over everything. You see me, I’m in like
a very loose shirt. This is loose. You can’t really see what my
body looks like underneath it. Also, elastic waistband on the pants. That is a definite must. No yoga pants. I don’t get where this
yoga pants fad came out, but that shit is way too tight. I want something stretchy. Give me something. If you can’t see the shape
of my butt, we’re good. Because it’s really flat. Next, location. The place where you are
willing to drink wine is very flexible. I’m not opposed to
drinking wine in the bath, not opposed to drinking
wine in the shower. Not opposed to drinking
wine on the toilet. One time, my mother-in-law came over, and she went into the
bathroom and used the bathroom before she left, and she came out with a glass of wine in her hand and said, “Oh, Hannah, I think you
might have forgotten this on the toilet tank.” And I was like, “yeah, I did.” And it was probably two
days old, but I drank it. No, she’s so polite, that she’ll never be
like, “You gross bitch, what the fuck are you doing, leaving glasses of wine in your bathroom?” Aren’t you happy that your son married me? Still doesn’t go with gum. Next, priorities. If your favorite thing to
do is melt on the couch with a glass or bottle of wine and a crappy TV show, welcome to the Wine Mom Club, babe. When somebody is like,
“Hey, wanna go do something? “It’s like a special occasion. “Let’s go somewhere.” I’m like, “Oh, God, that sounds great, except the part about going.” This Saturday night’s my
best friend’s birthday. So her party’s at a club. A club. I’m gonna go because the
amount of things that I attend with my friends who are
non-parents are very minimal. But the thought of having
to drive to a club. First of all, I have to put
on something that’s tight, probably, and then I’m gonna have to go into this club and be like squished, with like a bunch of sweaty people. There are always like,
those creepy guys at clubs who will hit on someone even though like, I
clearly have a wedding band and ring on me. So, girl, what you doing? I’m just being married. Yeah, where your husband? Where your husband at? He’s at home, but do you want me to call? Who likes that? I don’t wanna do that. Can we just come to my house? I’ll put my kids to bed. You come have your birthday on my couch. I’ll get some wine, and
we can just watch “CSI”. Old reruns, not the new shit. Oh, the burp won’t come out. Next, cost efficiency. When you are a wine mom, you’re gonna buy smart. There was this one time
at the grocery store. You bought six bottles of wine,
you got your 30 percent off, and then on top of it, you got 25 dollars off your groceries. And having three boys in my house, it was the greatest thing ever. We as a family spend
all of our money on food to feel (stutters). No. I don’t need any water. I need more wine. We spend all of our money on food to feed these garbage disposal boys. So if I can get my wine for cheap, and then get my food for cheap, what the fuck else do I want with my? That’s all I want. Now, I know if you’re
just an average person, what I said doesn’t sound that exciting. But if you are a wine mom,
that is just the sexiest thing you have ever heard. Get a discount on your wine. Get a discount on your groceries, oooh. And last, moderation. As a wine mom, I am a responsible parent. I love my children. They are my priority. This is my me time. My children are not here. I am not responsible for them. My husband is going to
pick them up from day care, and I don’t have to worry about this. It’s not about getting drunk. I have a limit of about
one and a half glasses before I fall asleep. And if you think that I’m drunk because I’m slurring my
words or being silly, or not remembering what I’m about to say, that’s just because I
haven’t slept in four years. If you haven’t slept in four years, it’s a miracle that you’re even existing, let alone talking. It’s all about a glass and a half of fun and me time and hard-earned wine. So drink up. So that’s all I got for today. I’m Hannah, your friendly
neighborhood wine mom. And if there’s anything
you want me to talk about in future episodes, any
questions that you have for me, leave them in a comment. Because I read all of those, and I see all of you
beautiful little teenagers saying that you relate
to this on a soul basis, despite not having kids or drinking wine. And I love you. That’s what I’m here for. So until next time, wish me luck at the club this weekend. Because I’m gonna be like trying to dance. Is this how you dance at a club while you hold your glass of wine? Good night. – [Cameraman] What if it’s like, instead? (burping) – Ooh. – [Cameraman] We got it.

100 Comments

Chloe Lynch

Jul 7, 2017, 7:50 pm Reply

I'm a step-wine mum

Tamás v

Jul 7, 2017, 12:58 pm Reply

She looks like a mess from the inside but you know she is a good mom and her children are gonna turn out to be awesome as a child and as adults😊

Sireen Hammad

Aug 8, 2017, 1:56 pm Reply

I am 13 year old that is a wine mom it's a lifestyle

Kora Angelhert

Aug 8, 2017, 12:26 am Reply

I'm about to be a mom, this is going to be me…

Dereck Kami

Aug 8, 2017, 8:27 am Reply

could i call myself a beer bro

my name is no name.

Sep 9, 2017, 2:24 am Reply

Under 21 so I'm drinking Kool aid

Luna Lightman

Sep 9, 2017, 6:41 am Reply

I fit all these qualities except the fact I love cute, uncomfortable clothing

Jenn Chupashko

Sep 9, 2017, 1:28 am Reply

I wish I could get wine in the grocery store! Lucky…. lol

Alaide Hurtado

Sep 9, 2017, 1:30 am Reply

I'm not a mom and I'm a wine mom.

Jenna Blayke

Oct 10, 2017, 4:39 pm Reply

Talk about weird questions your kids have asked you!!!

Wind Screen

Oct 10, 2017, 10:23 pm Reply

my ex drinks lots of wine, my new gf doesn't .. glad she don't, always hat to deal with a enjoying aditude. no offense but there is a major group of 30 /40 women drinking way to much

Maggie Rivera

Oct 10, 2017, 12:42 am Reply

pours a glass of water because I'm underage I'm not a mom but I love watching these for the future if I decide to have kids.

Julie Melgar

Oct 10, 2017, 10:03 am Reply

ur hilarious

Tina Polozola

Oct 10, 2017, 5:02 am Reply

Mom of two drinking wine in the tub! Wine mom life ❤

Jamie Speers

Oct 10, 2017, 1:09 am Reply

a glass and a half? homie, that's me sampling

Gregory Walker

Oct 10, 2017, 7:42 pm Reply

I wanna be a wine mom (dad) when I grow up

Laura De Coster

Nov 11, 2017, 7:09 pm Reply

I don't have kids. But I'm a teacher and after a whole day in class and cooking and cleaning at home. I need my wine!

Gracie Lee

Nov 11, 2017, 4:15 pm Reply

I’m not a wine mom in the least little bit for many reasons: a.) I LOVE jeans and dressing up. b.) I’m 14 so I don’t drink wine.

audrey yayafloxy

Nov 11, 2017, 8:48 pm Reply

Im 7 months pregnant and a wine mom 😻😻😻 pause on the wine fr now 😂

CODY YOU KNOW ME

Nov 11, 2017, 7:23 pm Reply

I'd be like it's over girl

Orion Fox

Nov 11, 2017, 11:34 pm Reply

Gay, male,
single, but I think I qualify

nobeltnium

Nov 11, 2017, 6:19 pm Reply

i suppose i'm some kind of soda son then

Angel Face

Dec 12, 2017, 10:59 am Reply

It's weird how much preferences change after being pregnant…Like I hate wearing pants now. I just want too be pantless at home and if not- Then I'll wear a dress. And I could care less what anyone thinks of me in public- No care lol. I still put all my makeup and do my hair- I just have no patience for the men in public lol. Already got one at home- Truly- I understand moms much better now- We're tired

Laura

Dec 12, 2017, 6:28 am Reply

Sitting on the couch with old CSI and wine!? I'M IN

Mike the Goo

Dec 12, 2017, 6:25 pm Reply

I'm not a wine mom…I'm a coffee teen…

Anatoly Kutkin

Jan 1, 2018, 8:34 pm Reply

The fact she curse surprises me but she's still the best mom in the world😊

Yasmine Benmrad

Jan 1, 2018, 12:41 pm Reply

I LOVE your hair in this video.

ShipWreck

Jan 1, 2018, 8:04 am Reply

I see comments that point out certain things in the intro and I’m just here like “ I Didn’t know everyone on here are detectives”

Hope Jonas

Jan 1, 2018, 5:32 am Reply

I'm not a mom and I can't drink wine but I love your videos because you give amazing advice

Kristasia Raglin

Jan 1, 2018, 8:46 am Reply

Finally not pregnant anymore and I can drink a glass while watching 😭😂

Morwenna Greenleaf

Feb 2, 2018, 11:37 am Reply

I feel like a wine mum. Minus the wine. And the mum part. And the general having a partner part.

Anna Rose

Feb 2, 2018, 2:07 am Reply

Can I be a wine teen??

Rabbina Bolbolan

Feb 2, 2018, 12:17 pm Reply

im a wine mom but with no kids for me netflix and wine

Alyssia Pratt

Feb 2, 2018, 5:42 am Reply

Dog wine mom

Alyssia Pratt

Feb 2, 2018, 5:44 am Reply

"there was this time at a grocery store"

Oliver NY

Feb 2, 2018, 12:42 pm Reply

so she give up……..

flobba123

Mar 3, 2018, 8:56 pm Reply

Wine Mom? im like the opopsite beer man and hey why am i watching buzzfeed

Maddy Wade Films

Mar 3, 2018, 10:15 pm Reply

teenager checking in.. I relate despite not drinking wine or being a mom. I do know lots of wine moms though.

Angel Resto

Mar 3, 2018, 1:03 am Reply

I knew I was a wine mom before it aca existed haha XD

Ursula Lund

Mar 3, 2018, 6:25 pm Reply

Im a 14 year old girl. but I still find Hanna(h?) funny af. + i learn a lot.

Maggie Everman

Mar 3, 2018, 4:03 am Reply

I'm a wine mom. Only being a teenager I don't drink. But I'm still meeting all the other requirements.

The Theatre Geek

Mar 3, 2018, 2:20 am Reply

I'm a wine mom in training (can't drink yet) 😄

Jughead don’t die

Mar 3, 2018, 4:03 pm Reply

How old do you have to be to be a wine mom?

FarmerGuy Games

Mar 3, 2018, 5:24 pm Reply

Can I still be a wine mom, even though I don't have kids and can't drink alcohol/wine?

Gabi Toneloto

Apr 4, 2018, 4:05 pm Reply

Hello, my name is Gabi and I'm a childless wine mom

simply mommlogical

Apr 4, 2018, 5:38 pm Reply

I'm a wine mom for sure, sweats, loose cheer shorts, leggings with loose shirts or large bleech dyed shirts, comfort over fashion. My baby is gonna look cute as hell tho.

Superirrellivantnicky34

Apr 4, 2018, 4:02 am Reply

I'm not old enough to drink wine
(Im a fetus)
But I am definitely a soda mom

Lilly Rosander

Apr 4, 2018, 2:56 am Reply

People: Can you be a wine mom without drinking wine?
Me: Sadly no… That's just being a bum :')

Candice streebel

Apr 4, 2018, 1:04 am Reply

I'm a wine sister

Ruby Hiley

Apr 4, 2018, 8:47 pm Reply

How can her hair be put up in the intro then down in the actual video!!!!😫😫😫😩😩😩😤😠😡😡😡😡😖😖😖😖😖😖😖I love ❤️ you Hannah .

It’s Arianna

Apr 4, 2018, 3:01 am Reply

If you don't have to be a mom to be a wine mom
Do you have to like wine to be a wine mom?

taine harrison

May 5, 2018, 6:55 am Reply

flaxringe

Samantha Brooks

May 5, 2018, 11:34 pm Reply

Can she pleaaaaseeee make a podcast?? that would be amazing!!

Nicole Brown

May 5, 2018, 3:29 am Reply

I'm a wine mom and I don't even have kids.

Alex C

May 5, 2018, 8:45 pm Reply

oof the teenager comment is me😂 im 17 with no kids and binge watching her videos, does being the "mom friend" count?

Ahmed Amr

May 5, 2018, 2:37 am Reply

Can there be a wine dad?😂😂

Hannah Elizabeth

Jun 6, 2018, 4:18 am Reply

“Everything in moderation, except moderation”

Heather Hayes

Jun 6, 2018, 1:19 am Reply

My Favorite Mom!

Isabelle Hommes

Jun 6, 2018, 4:15 pm Reply

More wine mom videosss!!

Elisabeth Thompson

Jun 6, 2018, 9:31 am Reply

I’m not even a mom, and I live drinking wine and watching these videos haha

Jordy Elize

Jul 7, 2018, 8:34 am Reply

Just shake the girls a little, or bounce in short go's up and down…it helps me get the burps out everytime 😂👌

Fallon Charisma

Jul 7, 2018, 12:07 am Reply

“No I don’t need water I need more wine” 😂

Karina

Jul 7, 2018, 2:15 am Reply

I'm a wine mom…

forever SHAMPOO

Jul 7, 2018, 3:02 am Reply

Wine mom signs…U fucked ur sons friend 😱

amendria

Aug 8, 2018, 4:36 am Reply

Oh man, preach! 🙌🏼

Tom Papa

Aug 8, 2018, 9:19 am Reply

is she wearing a bolo tie?…

JD

Aug 8, 2018, 2:32 am Reply

That's me 😂

kelvin kelly

Aug 8, 2018, 2:50 pm Reply

play drums with the wine bottle as the stick and your kids face as the drum.

Eyes Opened

Sep 9, 2018, 11:42 am Reply

I just ran out of wine supplies and it's weekend and everything is closed in this shithole I live in
Send help

Ad Skitzy

Sep 9, 2018, 5:48 am Reply

Ps I’m not even a teen but tequila ruined alcohol for me and every time I drink I can taste the sharpie marker in every drink

Meagan Hiller

Sep 9, 2018, 2:51 am Reply

My husbands mom is a wine mom! She’s turned me into a wine mom! ❤️

Ely Yarza

Sep 9, 2018, 4:11 am Reply

soo… I am a wine mom but have no kids

King Cams

Sep 9, 2018, 7:51 am Reply

Can I be still a wine mom although I like to drink beer instead of wine?

jasmine xx

Oct 10, 2018, 3:42 pm Reply

They drinks

Bailey Giles

Oct 10, 2018, 3:44 am Reply

I’m a wine mom. Sometimes I don’t even wear pants. I drink wherever the hell whenever I want to. I’m frugal AF, and I don’t care

WhErE_aRe_ThE_aVoCaDoS???

Oct 10, 2018, 6:36 am Reply

lol im not legaly allowed to drink but do energy drinks count?

Kitty Grimm

Nov 11, 2018, 3:25 am Reply

I'm not a mom (and probably never will be), but I work with kids and love wine. Does that count?

3 Brendan

Nov 11, 2018, 10:11 am Reply

signs you're a wine mom:
-you get drunk all the time after saying you will never srsly get drunk cuz it's just wine
-you get drunk then lose things and blame ur children you've lost then and beat them up for it
-you start unnecessary fights with your husband
-you spend all the money on wine

that's my mum, she used to be just like that woman in the video but now it's like she's got a demon in her and it scares me

Matilde Sembach

Nov 11, 2018, 3:29 pm Reply

Hannah is my spirit animal

Rand alKhonaizi

Nov 11, 2018, 9:36 am Reply

I’m a wine mom but I’m not a mom and I can’t and won’t drink

chloe ann

Nov 11, 2018, 4:44 pm Reply

I'm not a mum I'm a young adult but I love having a glass of Pressco and watching wine mom 😍 and I relate to all the things hannha said x

HEALTHY COOKING TV

Nov 11, 2018, 12:52 pm Reply

You are hilarious , I rather stay home with wine and a movie than deal with loud music and crowds . 😊💙👍🍷

Sandra

Dec 12, 2018, 4:05 am Reply

This is going to make me start drinking wine 😂 🍷

jen _del04

Jan 1, 2019, 10:06 pm Reply

Legally I'm not allowed to drink. But I love this

ginger psycho

Feb 2, 2019, 6:32 pm Reply

I miss this series, I hope she continues more of this on her new channel

{ Cxrol }

Feb 2, 2019, 9:29 pm Reply

the bun in the intro is a tutorial for me.

Cindy Nero

Mar 3, 2019, 12:04 am Reply

Watching wine mom while you're pregnant and sipping on a glass of non alcoholic wine 🍷

Jayne-louise dine

Mar 3, 2019, 9:12 pm Reply

I love this… literally because i can tell im going to be a wine mum when i have kids

japanslk230

Apr 4, 2019, 2:42 pm Reply

6:33

Mikayla Morris

Apr 4, 2019, 5:18 am Reply

Honorary wine mom

Alistair Animations

Apr 4, 2019, 12:21 pm Reply

I'm everything but I don't drink wine I'm 12 so…I just drink a little baby bottle of coca cola also I have heard the worst thing about "it" so it doesn't really effect me anymore but I love this

Kate Weissenberger

Apr 4, 2019, 1:39 pm Reply

So guys.

I just want to know why people are saying that Hannah is an alcoholic. And a bad mom. And a bad person.
WTF people

Austin Hill

May 5, 2019, 2:41 am Reply

Dont be a wine mom…

brit w

Jun 6, 2019, 5:38 am Reply

The thing with this you could easily become an alcoholic in no time it hits you out of the blue. It happened to me. Each to their own but I'm living proof that my drinking got worse over time. It may not have you yet but eventually overtime it could easily have you it's just a matter of time. What I'm trying to say is just be careful. In the end you don't control alcohol, alcohol controls you!
I choose sobriety these days. Life's so much better without the booze.

Alexis Thwing

Jun 6, 2019, 2:32 pm Reply

I became a wine mom when I got engaged and I don't have kids yet. So i guess Im a sort of wine wife.

Jillian McGauley

Jun 6, 2019, 3:39 am Reply

I’m a couple years late but rip Hannah because she had to go clubbing

Chip Noir

Jul 7, 2019, 2:50 am Reply

I shall be a wine dad someday. I've had a lot of training with multi-day babysitting of my cousins. Very much relish a port after that.

Ariana Reid

Jul 7, 2019, 7:55 pm Reply

I'm a brownie and cheesecake pizza mom. The trinity of deliciousness

Emily Slaton

Jul 7, 2019, 8:58 am Reply

I’m a 22 year old college student with no kids but I am a wine mom.

Kirsten Lunsford

Aug 8, 2019, 5:57 am Reply

I’m not a mom and I’m underage but I’m pretty sure I’m a wine mom

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