One of America’s Top Sommeliers Taste Tests Celebrity Wines

By Brian Lemay 100 comments


– I’m Patrick Cappiello, Eater National’s Sommelier of the Year and winner of Wine Spectator’s Grand Award and today, I’m gonna grade celebrity wines. (upbeat rock music) So, this is Mike Ditka. The name of this wine is The Champion. Still has a very high view of himself. From the Napa Valley, eh, so he’s sourcing his wine from the most expensive real estate in California. I would assume it’s gonna
be a fantastic wine. That does not smell good, like a dirty diaper,
that’s what it smells like. It’s kinda light and thin. It’s sour. This is not a touchdown, that’s for sure. I’m gonna give this one a ‘D’. Stick to announcing
football, Mike, please, for all of our sake. Alright, next we have Miraval Rose, made by Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. I mean, there’s no way
it’s made by Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie, but, they’ve spent some money to have somebody make it for ’em, so I’m sure
it’s nothing but the best. Comes from the south of
France, which is probably the most famous place for rose. Smells good, smells pretty green. Smells like rose from Provence. Yeah, it’s pretty dry, pretty fresh. I’d give this like a, like a ‘B’. Yeah, not bad. Alright, next we have Caduceus. The wine made by Maynard James Keenan, who is the lead singer of the
rock band Tool and Pucifer. And he’s actually, dude is
seriously passionate about wine. Sometimes I think he’s more excited about making wine than
he is about making music, although I do love his music. Naga is the wine, here and the wine’s made in Arizona. Definitely a little bit meatier, more like sausage kind of smell to it, but in a good way and a little spicy. I would say like, kinda peppery. Good concentration. It’s not too overpowering in alcohol, it, it has some restraint and great acidity. And good length, like you can taste the wine for a significant period after drinking it. I would give this an ‘A’ minus. And that’s not just ’cause
I’m afraid of Maynard, but I am (chuckles). Okay, next we have Wayne Gretzky Estates. I didn’t know he had an estate. That’s kinda cool. Let’s see what this wine’s all about. (chugs) Wow, it smells like California cabernet. I mean, it’s like, unmistakable, like, black currant, like, really
explosively aromatic. It tastes like a predictable
California cabernet. It’s not too dry, it’s not too sweet, it’s just kinda middle of the road. It seems like, kinda safe to me, which, you know, he never played his career safe, so I don’t know why he’d play his wine safe. I’m gonna give this a, a ‘B’ minus. So the next wine is White Girl Rose. It’s made by Fat Jew. I guess I shouldn’t say that. That’s amazing that that counts as a celebrity nowadays, pretty sad. Let’s give it a shot. It looks like rose. It smells like, rotten. It’s uh, not what you
would expect from rose. Tastes worst than it smells. Feel bad for White Girls. This one is pretty bad. Yeah, it’s terrible,
like, it’s for sure now. This is the guy who, like,
stole from everybody, right? Wonder if he stole this recipe for his wine from someone. He should give it back. That’s for sure. So, what did we learn today? We learned that some celebrities know how to make wine and some celebrities
probably don’t make wine. I think in the end, you should only buy wines that taste good and not buy wines from people who you idolize on television. I’m Patrick Cappiello from Playboy.com.

100 Comments

BrianAndBethany

Apr 4, 2017, 11:12 pm Reply

Dude never does a blind taste test of crappy wines and nice wines and asked to grade them in the same video. He knows if he is "supposed to" hate it.

OG for days

Apr 4, 2017, 4:54 pm Reply

Make it a blind test!!

Mike C.

Apr 4, 2017, 2:00 am Reply

Bottom line: Dont buy wine that tastes like Mike Ditkaz ass….

Raghav Sagar

May 5, 2017, 6:15 pm Reply

I wish he didn't know who made the wine beforehand

AC

Jun 6, 2017, 9:12 pm Reply

Great fun.

wonnie

Jun 6, 2017, 5:00 am Reply

These videos are so much better than the equivalent that Buzzfeed puts out. Not once did I hear this guy say "hints of insert random object" or stuff like "tones" or whatever. I like this guy. He opened my eyes to PBR, and now I'm addicted to his videos.

Max Walton

Jun 6, 2017, 4:38 am Reply

First video I've seen from this channel but he mentioned tool and Maynard so I automatically love it

Go-To-Bed

Jun 6, 2017, 6:06 am Reply

Ayyy I live in the Napa Valley (rent is absolutely crazy)

MattyBespoke

Jun 6, 2017, 4:40 am Reply

MJK is the only one that actually is involved with the making, Brad & Ang just adopt a small village & force them to make it

Gustavo Brugnoli

Jul 7, 2017, 10:45 pm Reply

Off-topic: Cool t-shirt. Where is it from?

Schizophrenic Cynic

Jul 7, 2017, 12:12 am Reply

And A Perfect Circle

Doc Roid

Jul 7, 2017, 7:21 pm Reply

1:10 Greatest Rock Vocalist of All Times producing the Best Wine ever.

Armani Nguon

Jul 7, 2017, 10:16 am Reply

I really want to try the gretzky

Rory Calhoun

Aug 8, 2017, 11:38 pm Reply

FAIL!!!!!

he didn't try DICK VERMEIL'S wine!!!!

the ol' ball skipper's turning in his grave…. and he ain't dead yet!!!!

the Dickster is NON-PLUSSED!!!!!

DELETETHIS

Sep 9, 2017, 3:38 pm Reply

The music is so obnoxious

Alex S

Sep 9, 2017, 2:55 am Reply

Anyone know the song at the end

Mike Given

Oct 10, 2017, 8:15 pm Reply

Out of all of those MJK is probably the only who is actually actively involved in the wine making process of his wine.

Lurp Jr

Oct 10, 2017, 4:03 pm Reply

Next Video: Patrick blind tastes celebrity poon

I'm genuinely interested

Alexander Stewart

Nov 11, 2017, 9:32 pm Reply

This guy is super biased with all his reviews. You suck.

Skankhunt41

Dec 12, 2017, 7:03 am Reply

Mike Ditka doesn't call football games.

Tom Le

Dec 12, 2017, 3:46 am Reply

I think its Full Circle Instrumental

canitbechristine

Dec 12, 2017, 7:18 am Reply

I think it would be better as a blind taste test.

Joe 30 pack

Jan 1, 2018, 5:29 pm Reply

"Smells like a dirty diaper" LOL– I was doing some work at Ditkas house back in the nineties while they were prepping for a big party, stacked outside in the hot summer sun were cases and cases of the cheapest wine available.

Joseph Cruz

Jan 1, 2018, 10:58 pm Reply

Maynard had a couple other types of wine called "Chupacabara" and i think "363" or whatever the downward spiral is.

DawsonEdiger

Jan 1, 2018, 3:22 am Reply

JUST gotta say professional or not. It looks stupid AF when you spit out your drink like a little girl. I know you don’t wanna get a buzz on but srsly come on man. Toughen up

Matthew Seggelink

Feb 2, 2018, 8:08 pm Reply

Huh apparently things that describe tool's music also applies to its wine

Metayounis

Feb 2, 2018, 10:55 pm Reply

his guy is full of bullshit.

Andrew Holland

Mar 3, 2018, 12:24 am Reply

Dreaming tree by Dave Matthews?

Dustin Platt

Mar 3, 2018, 6:39 am Reply

Awesome. Now I want some Maynard wine. Thanks!

AlmaSpiteful

Mar 3, 2018, 7:44 am Reply

I was keeping my fingers crossed that he would judge Maynard James Keenan's wine…and when he did and it was good, I was so happy! Wish he would've done Kyle McLachlan's.

Christopher Harlan

Mar 3, 2018, 3:16 am Reply

I have watched a one of these guys do a double blind taste test in nappa they couldn't differ between an expensive wine and cheap wine there all full of shit

EthnHayabusa

Apr 4, 2018, 8:58 am Reply

I don't hate him.

John Bainbridge

Apr 4, 2018, 10:43 pm Reply

Maynard makes wine?! And it's good?!
How am I only learning this now?

ONE lick Rick

Apr 4, 2018, 7:24 pm Reply

MIke dikta does not announce football. he was a coach.

Ose Gaming

May 5, 2018, 11:46 pm Reply

Wayne Gretzky estates is based in Niagara not california dude

Erick Hines

May 5, 2018, 8:29 pm Reply

should have tried E-40 powerful wine

zicada

May 5, 2018, 6:16 pm Reply

Last one needed to be blind

Paul Begovatz

Jun 6, 2018, 8:07 pm Reply

Top sommelier who doesn’t let red wines breath first

rwhoover

Jun 6, 2018, 12:29 am Reply

This guy, just reviewing shit all day. Perfect idea for a new series.

The Proclaimed

Jun 6, 2018, 12:09 pm Reply

Give him a red wine and a white wine dyed red, he won’t be able to tell them apart…..

Brian Browning

Jun 6, 2018, 9:09 am Reply

I learned that you never taste a label, try these again blind, without your clever pompous know it all attitude. You evaluate wine like a fratboy, not a professional. Grow up and go get some real shops. Douche

Jamie F

Jun 6, 2018, 3:21 am Reply

They editted out the slurps/spits. Good on ya.

Zach Patterson

Jul 7, 2018, 3:25 am Reply

"This is not a touchdown, that's for sure"

TestMeatDollSteak

Jul 7, 2018, 10:24 pm Reply

I'd consider it to be a more objective, and truly "blind" test if they didn't let him see the bottles before tasting the wines. Seeing an item's brand/label before consuming it often has the effect of priming the taster to like or dislike it, usually because they already have preconceived ideas about the product before diving in.

T C

Jul 7, 2018, 4:52 pm Reply

He will eventually choke on wine…..cause he chokes at everything else stick a red straight in your bung hole….

Russell Meyer

Jul 7, 2018, 1:56 am Reply

There was a famous test done where they switched the labels of fancy wine with cheap wine and these supposed “professionals “ couldn’t tell the difference. Basically said the cheap wine was better than the high priced wine simply because it had the better label on I️t …

HERPY DERPEDY

Jul 7, 2018, 2:51 am Reply

Can he taste my aged Welches juice

erowidx

Sep 9, 2018, 8:34 pm Reply

This would have been better if it had been a blind taste test. This just makes him seem like a pretentious ass giving his unwarranted opinion on various celebrities.

b3ans4eva

Nov 11, 2018, 10:17 pm Reply

Need to try Sam Neill's Two Paddocks.

s h

Dec 12, 2018, 3:21 am Reply

how every one of these awful wine review videos is scripted:

Listen to the connoisseur hold back an orgasm as he reveals to the audience his titles and awards with a shitty grin. The wines start out with something awful and is described with an unusual visualizer word. Think burned tires or a ham sandwich. Next is a wine that's halfway decent and will end up being the top rated wine. Here you'll find the typical words to describe wines. fruity, depth, plumb. Next give a short story of the next wines history and swirl the glass. Hold it up to the light for full effect. next up is the 'tied-for-worst' wine. This one always gets the spit bucket. then end with something blow average. Conclude that all the wines in the category are hit-and-miss and that you should instead make better choices.

I give this series a D.

Steven Simon

Dec 12, 2018, 4:34 am Reply

Wayne Gretzky Estates source their grapes from either The Okanogan or Niagara. Wouldn’t hurt if he read the bottle instead of dismissing it calling it typical California wine.

Thorn Matthew

Dec 12, 2018, 9:29 pm Reply

Try Jerry Garcia’s wine from the 90’s. 🤢🤮

Thatguyuknow2550

Dec 12, 2018, 1:24 am Reply

exactly the type of person i would expect to be a "wine expert"

Paxton Hambling

Dec 12, 2018, 5:56 pm Reply

Hes clearly not that much of an expert. Wayne Gretzky is a Niagara wine not California

everything will be ok

Dec 12, 2018, 11:14 pm Reply

This is a stupid test because he was clearly influenced by the his knowledge and opinion of people who made the wines. No serious wine drinker is going to taste ‘white girl rose’ by the fat Jew and not expect it to be terrible.

Potato Chip

Jan 1, 2019, 11:42 am Reply

I thought the McCanns brought out a wine last year but i couldn't find it

Corellian Productions

Jan 1, 2019, 2:54 am Reply

Trump Wine?

Jack Middleton

Jan 1, 2019, 4:26 pm Reply

After watching Sour Grapes I am now inclined to think "One of America's Top Bullshit Artists".

Andrés64B

Jan 1, 2019, 11:28 pm Reply

there is no such thing as an objective standard for good wine. therefore anything you say is completely subjective and your point of view only.

ZenNaster

Feb 2, 2019, 6:51 am Reply

I only clicked because I knew Maynard's wine would be included.

jens brandt

Feb 2, 2019, 11:29 pm Reply

this is not very objektiv

Justin

Feb 2, 2019, 6:36 am Reply

Doesn't count unless it's a blind test.

4 18

Mar 3, 2019, 12:24 am Reply

FUCKING LOVE THIS GUY

Curtis Rhoa

Apr 4, 2019, 2:44 am Reply

How can we trust the taste of someone who says they like the band Tool?

Josh Clark

Apr 4, 2019, 4:08 am Reply

I’d like to see what he thinks of pink pistol wine (Miranda Lambert’s wine).. I live in her hometown and I’m really tired of how much her shit is promoted

Ray Gao

Apr 4, 2019, 5:04 pm Reply

American wine

Dagan Perretti

Apr 4, 2019, 2:59 am Reply

He didnt even drink coppolas wine

John Matta

May 5, 2019, 2:58 am Reply

"I feel bad for white girls." Laughed out loud.

Vincent Li

May 5, 2019, 3:13 pm Reply

Tool fan reviews celebrity wines

JellyMan11

May 5, 2019, 4:05 pm Reply

Nigga stop swirling the wine

Awww Gummon

May 5, 2019, 11:22 am Reply

I hear the great Charles Woodson has a great wine range.

-runswithbeer-

May 5, 2019, 4:17 pm Reply

The Great One made an Okay One.

Jeff Francis

May 5, 2019, 7:50 pm Reply

I really like this guy. He isn't snobby

Neil Deep

May 5, 2019, 2:35 pm Reply

i really wanna work for Playboy/Indulgence.

popolynn2

May 5, 2019, 9:56 pm Reply

what a stupid skill to have

David

Jun 6, 2019, 4:43 pm Reply

Blind test would've been better

Hog Tramp

Jun 6, 2019, 7:18 am Reply

This dude was entertaining to me before I even clicked the clip

Vin Video

Jun 6, 2019, 7:56 am Reply

Haha a super fun video! Great content bro

Alexander Gentemann

Jun 6, 2019, 9:57 am Reply

I don't know why he did not mention that the Brad Pitt wine was made by a real brand of wine maker in France who e.g. made one of the highest rated chateaneuf du Pape? They just marketed this but the wine is made by professionals…

betterdays

Jun 6, 2019, 2:22 pm Reply

Sommeliers are the yeast in cunts. Pretentious douche garglers

Matt b

Jun 6, 2019, 3:32 pm Reply

Don’t forget about A Perfect Circle.

If y’all are into wine, vacation to the Canadian side of Niagara Falls. Gretzky as well as maybe 30 other wineries over there, not to mention the falls are amazing. Head to Niagara on the lake. Worth it

disturbeddemons1

Jun 6, 2019, 10:15 pm Reply

Watched this specifically hoping to see Maynard's wine.

Snorré H

Jun 6, 2019, 1:16 am Reply

3:15 the moment you realize what the fuck did he say? 😅😆

Aldebert Concepcion

Jun 6, 2019, 5:59 am Reply

It’s obvious your reviews are based on your personal bias towards or against the celebrities

Moose Knuckle

Jun 6, 2019, 12:34 pm Reply

An award winning wine taster…..wtf has the world come to.

Nick

Jun 6, 2019, 9:08 pm Reply

Real title, "One of America's most pretentious alcoholics drinks booze"

JRocco2021

Jul 7, 2019, 4:12 am Reply

What no Claypool Cellars!?

Squadshit

Jul 7, 2019, 6:30 pm Reply

This guy has a super punchable face then you listen too him… and want to punch him more

timothy smith

Jul 7, 2019, 3:23 am Reply

Am I the only one who thinks this clown judged the wine on who supposedly made it?

kinkyplunk

Jul 7, 2019, 7:04 pm Reply

Why does this guy pronounce everything wrong?

Grant Campbell

Jul 7, 2019, 11:39 pm Reply

Guys got nothing on Marc Almert! He can tell you how old the grapes were. Some good wine comes out of the Napa Valley. Helped a lot of French wine producers when they had problems, but Ameeican wines aren't the greatest imo.

Shadow 3091

Jul 7, 2019, 4:31 am Reply

See, Maynard actually makes his wine and he did a lot of research to make sure it was a good one. It shows

Brandon Brown

Jul 7, 2019, 7:35 am Reply

Well maynerd actually makes the wine and tastes it before her sells it so yah I guess we know why his is the best

William Menendez

Aug 8, 2019, 6:30 am Reply

Sommelier is a bullshite profession

NQ

Aug 8, 2019, 10:49 am Reply

The somelliar should be given a blind taste. Lets see how good he is

AR Kennedy

Aug 8, 2019, 4:20 pm Reply

Sommelier of the year and you pour wine like apple juice?

Sammy Danger

Aug 8, 2019, 8:02 am Reply

That’s so cool to see one of my favorite bands growing up be able to succeed doing his passion

Robert Smith

Aug 8, 2019, 4:54 am Reply

TASTES LIKE BULLSHEET!

Tony Marselle

Aug 8, 2019, 3:23 pm Reply

All sommeliers are full of shit.

Loki Nebula

Aug 8, 2019, 5:16 pm Reply

French is the most pretentious language of all time.

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