John Mulaney – New In Town – Doing Nothing

By Brian Lemay 100 comments


– Thank you for coming
to this show, by the way. I really do appreciate
you coming to a thing, because you didn’t have to, and it’s really easy
not to go to things. (laughing) It is so much easier not to
do things than to do them. That you would do anything
is totally remarkable. (laughing) Percentage wise, it is 100%
easier not to do things than to do them. And so much fun not to do them. Especially when you were
supposed to do them. In terms of instant relief,
canceling plans is like heroin. It is an amazing feeling.
(laughing) Such instant joy. Kids don’t like that. Kids always wanna do stuff. Kids get angry, they go, “Aw, we didn’t do
anything all day.” But you ever ask an adult what
they did over the weekend, and they say they didn’t do
anything, their faces light up. (laughing) Be like, “What’d you
do this weekend?” “I, um, I did nothing. “I did nothing at all. “Did we do anything? “No, I didn’t do anything.” (laughing) People especially don’t
wanna do their jobs. I’ve found that
out recently too. I have a friend named Megan. She’s an elementary
school teacher. And I was out with
her one night, and she was drinking
like a monster. (laughing) And I said to her, “Don’t
you have to do a shift “at school tomorrow?” And she went, “Ah, I’ll
just show a video.” And I was like, “That’s
why teachers show videos?” (laughing) She said this, she goes,
“Yeah, I don’t wanna work.” And I was like, “You know, “the kids don’t
wanna work either.” And she was like, “Good.” (laughing)

100 Comments

Charles Crosbie

Nov 11, 2014, 11:34 pm Reply

Great stand up, terrible, terrible sitcom. Mulaney needs to get another chance at funny TV.

ImaginaryVenus5

Jan 1, 2015, 1:59 am Reply

Reminds me of Mark Gungor with his female voice imitation 

Ani0227

Jul 7, 2015, 8:38 am Reply

this speaks to me on a spiritual level.

Lianna Chambers

Dec 12, 2015, 4:16 am Reply

We have the same philosophy. I skipped all my homework!

One Smug Boi

Mar 3, 2016, 8:58 am Reply

Excuse me John, I'm a child and I don't like to do anything =-=

Extreme Nummybits

Mar 3, 2016, 1:33 pm Reply

brought here by undertale.

Trent Heikes

Aug 8, 2016, 7:41 am Reply

can john mulaney be my dad

Clout Kamui

Nov 11, 2016, 11:45 am Reply

I'm only in 9th grade but I haven't wanted to do anything since 6th grade

CallMeFreakFujiko

Dec 12, 2016, 6:05 am Reply

This is how I'm feeling right now. It's easier to do nothing than to take my pills that I have to take to live and making food for Christmas.

Edit: This is also true for teenagers. They tend to need more sleep orsomethingidunno.

Stranger.cosplay

Feb 2, 2017, 6:52 pm Reply

My parents are the opposite, im watching tv and making fanfics, then my mom and dad will come in and yell,'ALRIGHT WE HAVINT DONE ANYTHING ALL DAY LETS GO FOR A WALK TO THE PARK

Bing

Feb 2, 2017, 3:07 pm Reply

my teacher loves to show videos…

Vylan X

Mar 3, 2017, 2:37 am Reply

It's the opposite for me, lol. My mom wants to go out all the time and I just want to stay in bed and watch YouTube. She forces me to go out anyways cri. ;-;

Carbs Are Delicous

Mar 3, 2017, 1:02 am Reply

I am a kid and I LOVE TO DO NOTHING it's my favorite thing to do

Ruttsu & Co.

Mar 3, 2017, 3:55 am Reply

My life in a nutshell

Factual Opinion

Apr 4, 2017, 2:19 pm Reply

People die when they are killed.

J Hare

May 5, 2017, 2:16 pm Reply

The one way teachers are never viewed when we're students. Human beings with real problems and faults. This genuinely has me wondering if any of my teachers pulled this.

Kyle Ingalls

Jun 6, 2017, 3:31 am Reply

Best comedian

nina_wantstofly //

Jun 6, 2017, 2:27 pm Reply

i just canceled my plans to go out…well…

Rudi Pennington

Jun 6, 2017, 8:48 pm Reply

I cancelled my plans to go out tonight…. I guess this is what heroin feels like?

Strangedude247

Jun 6, 2017, 2:50 am Reply

I'm so sad he doesn't have his own channel

Honk Donk

Jul 7, 2017, 10:16 am Reply

When 70% of the viewers are from a shitty rpg

Dan Maftei

Jul 7, 2017, 3:18 pm Reply

just cancelled on a BBQ with some pos excuse and now I'm watching this to justify my awful behavior :((

ShootingStars

Aug 8, 2017, 6:32 am Reply

I had a 30 second ad before the video, poop XD

Darknesstothemax

Aug 8, 2017, 6:49 pm Reply

HOLY SHIT NO WONDER MY 9TH GRADE SCIENCE TEACHER ONLY SHOWED US VIDEOS

EnderGirl125 Endstone

Aug 8, 2017, 10:38 pm Reply

Comedians are my spirit animal

Ramiro Belmares

Aug 8, 2017, 7:57 pm Reply

I think I had this type of teacher in 7th grade xD

comicmaster217

Aug 8, 2017, 11:10 pm Reply

Saying "I did nothing" is good for anyone except your parents cause they'll get pissed off so much

The Video Game Mafia

Aug 8, 2017, 12:18 am Reply

I'm not the only one who thinks he looks like grant gustin, right?

murdoc nickles

Sep 9, 2017, 1:03 am Reply

I LOVE JOHN MULANEY hes rather good looking😍

chris animation

Sep 9, 2017, 5:58 am Reply

When i was a kid i did nothing

Nko Ubo

Oct 10, 2017, 2:57 pm Reply

Me

vanta black

Oct 10, 2017, 3:51 pm Reply

"Cancelling plans is like heroine, it is an amazing feeling. Such instant joy." WELL IF THIS AIN'T ME I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS

Jony FiftyFour

Oct 10, 2017, 7:55 pm Reply

He kinda reminds me of Jerry Seinfeld in his delivery and body language

Joseph Chromicz

Nov 11, 2017, 12:04 am Reply

Watching this as I should be doing something

star the queen of the whole galaxy

Dec 12, 2017, 8:09 pm Reply

me and my family partying all crazy

Cheyenne Hayden

Dec 12, 2017, 7:01 pm Reply

John is so much funnier doing stand-up than doing TV roles like in Big mouth or Mulaney.

CountArtha

Jan 1, 2018, 9:27 pm Reply

Substitute teacher here: There are schools where basically NONE of the teachers show up on Monday.

Joseph Landers

Jan 1, 2018, 11:31 pm Reply

That's so backwards in my house XD

Smokedship

Feb 2, 2018, 2:03 pm Reply

John is much funnier on interviews…

Elisafigueora

Feb 2, 2018, 9:25 pm Reply

WHY DID I IMAGINE HIS VOICE LIKE THIS WHEN I READ THE MEME

Jacob Choi

Feb 2, 2018, 5:44 pm Reply

Ragewolf brought me here.

1 Less Than 0

Mar 3, 2018, 2:23 am Reply

I’m watching this so I don’t have to do Modern homework… XD

thebrokenones

Mar 3, 2018, 3:37 am Reply

I don't like doing stuff. So when I say I didn't do anything all day, I get weird faces. Cause I like sleeping. Don't judge me

Stick Breightley

Apr 4, 2018, 9:47 pm Reply

Wait if that’s why teachers show videos my ELA teacher form last year has some explaining to do because we watched the entirety of the LotR trilogy

Nathanael Mooney

Apr 4, 2018, 5:43 am Reply

Hey guys, John mulaney was a an actor on big mouth, enjoy

Parrotlad

Apr 4, 2018, 11:14 pm Reply

Ive always seen thes in animatics but now watching the real thing.

Lauren Redding

Apr 4, 2018, 2:56 am Reply

I actually got a meditation ad before this so… ok

Gabbi / Silas

Apr 4, 2018, 9:12 pm Reply

I don’t like doing anything. My dad’s the one that makes me do things

sharon 1661

Apr 4, 2018, 12:55 am Reply

when i was a kid i was over fucking joyed when my parents canceled plans

Reaper Meep

May 5, 2018, 1:46 am Reply

ive only been watching john all day NOTHING ELSE

Sepia Smith

May 5, 2018, 12:34 am Reply

we had a music teacher who would usually come in drunk as well lmao
she'd be drunk and crying over…. something? I honestly never knew. and she'd send us to the back to play on the pianos and that would be class.

Larbon Jams

May 5, 2018, 2:26 am Reply

this "not doing anything" bit is strikingly similar to Louis CK's opening bit on his latest special…

Legends

May 5, 2018, 2:47 am Reply

His imitation of her drinking 😂😂

Kaui Oney

May 5, 2018, 12:53 am Reply

You only found out now people don’t want to do there jobs and your 28 😳

Raining Dogs And Cats

Jun 6, 2018, 5:05 am Reply

“GOod!”*drinks* lol

Purple Bean

Jul 7, 2018, 5:35 pm Reply

I must be an adult and my father must be a ten year old then or we just swapped bodies for our lives

lizett TwT

Jul 7, 2018, 8:50 pm Reply

I'm almost a teen and I love doing nothing, also drawing..every once in awhile. But I still love doing nothing, and I look a few years older than I am and at times act older, and act younger…but people still think I'm a bit older plus good and at few things I don't have as much as a clue to what on earth I am doing..soo how do I act my age, i have no clue and will probably never will.

dave lightSaber

Aug 8, 2018, 5:46 am Reply

He Looks Like Barry Allen from the flash .

Duhlayna

Aug 8, 2018, 7:19 pm Reply

I’m watching this while I’m supposed to be doing school work.

Hey It’s Sarah.’

Aug 8, 2018, 9:28 pm Reply

Why is this channel unavailable?

SallySociopath

Sep 9, 2018, 8:44 pm Reply

But you guys, his face. Jesus his face. It's so pretty.

Anika potato

Sep 9, 2018, 11:10 pm Reply

I love not doing anything

monsterjambrony

Oct 10, 2018, 5:17 pm Reply

Yes, canceling plans are really relaxing!

Brendan Risney

Oct 10, 2018, 9:45 am Reply

Whenever I'm asked what I've been doing recently, I answer "Nothing productive."

Alexandra Kenobi

Oct 10, 2018, 9:38 pm Reply

He’s the cutest ever

Adam Barnett

Oct 10, 2018, 1:17 pm Reply

https://youtu.be/ACaMNnuEU_E

Александра Мутыгуллина

Nov 11, 2018, 7:19 pm Reply

oh my god I'm a teacher and I can 100% confirm that this is true

Nessi Chan

Dec 12, 2018, 10:38 pm Reply

that was my depression talking wow

THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN

Dec 12, 2018, 8:34 am Reply

Lol he looks like Barry Allen from Flash

Amelia B.

Jan 1, 2019, 4:01 pm Reply

This is so funny to me because me and my mums reactions to doing nothing is completely switched, she hates being inside but I hate getting out of the house

Krock

Jan 1, 2019, 5:58 pm Reply

This reminds me of a New Yorker cartoon which shows a woman slouching on her sofa drooling and visibly high. The caption reads: "High on cancelled plans."

talia.waters

Jan 1, 2019, 11:42 pm Reply

watching this as i avoid doing my work

kyootchef brian

Jan 1, 2019, 11:39 am Reply

Cute and I think he has a big junk

Jackson Shepherd

Jan 1, 2019, 3:57 am Reply

Last year at school, I had a science teacher and not to be rude but he was getting pretty old, like he’s that teacher where other teachers go “Oh Mr.Scott, yeah he was my teacher.” He also had some pets, like 2 snakes and I think he ended up getting another one, and a pet mouse he named pretzel, and he had his classroom covered with different Star Wars stuff from different years, he had a toy Millennium Falcon on a shelf, and on another shelf he had a big Jar Jar Figure missing an ear, and the year he taught me was the year he was retiring, so at the last few months of the year he mainly showed videos, a lot of times making us right notes based off the video, he was one of my favorite teachers.

Brendan Lake

Jan 1, 2019, 4:18 am Reply

Totally ripping off Louis CKs style with this bit

Laquita Wright

Jan 1, 2019, 11:07 am Reply

And she was drinking like a monster

StormSage13

Feb 2, 2019, 3:32 am Reply

By that same logic, my film appreciation teacher was an alcoholic in desperate need of a new liver

Adventure 101

Feb 2, 2019, 1:02 am Reply

Story of my life

Manisha Mishra

Mar 3, 2019, 2:47 pm Reply

i was supposed to be studying but this is 100% better

Gabriela Poplawski

Mar 3, 2019, 2:15 am Reply

i feel attacked bc im procrastinating by watching this

Puddle Zerg

Mar 3, 2019, 2:16 am Reply

and this is why I'm amazed people do bad stuff.

It's so easy to just not do them.

Hyper Goomba

Apr 4, 2019, 12:28 am Reply

0:42
Not me. When I was a kid I would hate to go shopping. No resturants I want food I say "Hey mom go can we have pizza? Make sure its delivery." I'm a girl and I absulutely hate going clothes shopping I still do its a waste of time I would say "Mom I am old enough (9 years old) to stay home alone." And she'd be like "No your not honey-" "BRUCE (my cat) WILL PROTECT ME WITH HIS LIFEEEEEE!!!!!"

wesleysull

Apr 4, 2019, 12:24 am Reply

This clip had the rhythm of a Louis Ck set.

Zuyuri

Apr 4, 2019, 12:26 am Reply

I'm an EA and I went drinking with the teacher I worked with. We both went into work the next day and she's like "Put on that damn video we found for our science period," and we hung out in the back nursing ourselves.

Jay27

May 5, 2019, 9:38 pm Reply

legit my teacher is showing us videos and doing nothing. Its great

richard mohammed

May 5, 2019, 8:51 pm Reply

Never heard of this guy but l like him!!!!

Gabe Jones

May 5, 2019, 3:49 am Reply

"But, the kids don't wanna work either-"
" G O O D "

Pedro Orta

May 5, 2019, 11:25 pm Reply

This guy needs to be heard i cant stop Laughing

Ur a wizard Harry

Jun 6, 2019, 6:32 am Reply

Great, now whenever we watch Bill Nye I'll know its because my science teacher took too many shots of tequila

stillatin

Jun 6, 2019, 6:03 am Reply

He really needs to release another special, I've watched all of them a bunch of times

Noe Berengena

Jul 7, 2019, 12:01 am Reply

John Mulaney's beaming face can light up an entire city during a blackout. (see freeze frame 0:57 to 1:01)

WiskyR6

Jul 7, 2019, 8:57 am Reply

Well I'd have to disagree. It's easier to breath than NOT breathe. Me: 1, the now-dead party: 0

Ashley K

Jul 7, 2019, 1:53 pm Reply

Wish some of my friends could lighten up and feel the same when plans are cancelled 🙃

Movies and Chill

Aug 8, 2019, 8:00 pm Reply

what a mood

Meinpen

Aug 8, 2019, 12:05 am Reply

0:21 breathing?

Alina Markova

Aug 8, 2019, 1:58 am Reply

can john drop his skincare routine

Bexx36

Aug 8, 2019, 2:11 am Reply

He is so freaking cute

FIONA Rc

Aug 8, 2019, 10:33 pm Reply

We had a subject teacher where most of the time, he just shows us movies: A Quiet Place, House Of Wax, Baby Driver, Ready Player One, Deadpool.

Lucy Pollock

Sep 9, 2019, 3:09 pm Reply

Omg i have never watched American stand-up before because I didn't think it could compare to British stand-up. HOLY SHIT I WAS WRONG John Mulaney is now my new favourite person ever

Prophet Ko

Sep 9, 2019, 12:05 pm Reply

This man is for the kids 🙏🏾

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