Beer Pong with Müller, Boateng’s Rap & Götze’s Mannschaft! | Jack Whitehall: Training Days
– No! Thomas! – Muller, Muller!
– Ah! – ( whistle blows )
– ( clamoring ) Jack:
Come on, no, stop, no, children! – ( whistle blows )
–Nein!Das ist mein lufthammer.Das ist meinwhat?( music playing )Jack:
I’m Jack Whitehall,
in this series,I’ll be getting
up close and personalwith some of the biggest
names in footballas they gear up
for the World Cup in Russia.Yo!( whistle blows )( music playing )Germany,
England’s arch nemesis,where the beer is malty,where the sausage is meaty,and where I accidentally
lost my virginityon a school trip in 1999.I still think about you,
Ingrid.It’s also home to the current
World Cup championsand one of the most successful
Mannschafts,that’s the German for team…
( giggles )…in international football.So I’ve come to Germany to rap
with Jérôme Boateng,stein race with Thomas Muller,and thoroughly embarrass
Mario Gotzein the hope that they’re
totally freaked outahead of Russia.The first stop
on my German tour is Munchen,home to German championsand one of the most feared
teams on the planet,Bayern Munchen.I’m here to meet centre-back,
man-mountain,and friend of Jay-Z,
Jérôme Boateng.♪ Come on ♪♪ Bounce ♪( music playing )Jérôme Boateng is a powerful
centre-backand stalwart of
the Bayern Munichand German national side.With over 60 counts
and a World Cup to his name,he’s the perfect person
to teach this Englishmenwhat it takes to win.I’ve joined him and some
of his legendaryMannschaft-ersfor an exclusive session
at the Bayern Munich
training ground.– You good?
– Yeah, good, how are you, man? – You ready?
– Yeah. You want to win or what? I want to win,
I need to learn to win. Than you have to
meet my teammates. –Guten Tag.
– ( laughs ) –Buenos dias.
– ( speaks French ) Hi, mate, nice to meet you. ( laughter ) Yeah, we stretch
it out, okay? Yeah, okay. We’ll start with just
a little… this one, I like this one. ( laughter ) Yeah. And then this one
you’ll like, JB. A little running man. And then we’ll move that in,
I like this one. Just… to get those off. Get them nice and high, Ribéry. I don’t want to be
a Stefan Kuntz about this, lads, but I really want you to throw
yourself into these. This is quite high-level. Backpack man, you ready? Jérôme:
Yeah. Ribéry, this is a complete joke. Ribéry’s gone rogue. Bro, you have to
get the ball, yeah? Okay. You know
I’m an Arsenal fan and I know how much you guys
like humiliating us. – Let’s go.
– Okay.Sure, five against one,this is essentially bullying.It’s not big or clever.– Jérôme:Oh!
– Jack:Can you please
stop doing that?Jérôme:
Come on, bro.You want to win the World Cup?
Come. Its very quick-like. Ah! Jérôme:
Come on, bro!You want to win? Come!– No!
– Hey! Jack:
Ah! Ah.– Good?
– That’s the most exercise
I’ve ever done. Ribs! That’s your problem,
this is going away from him. Ribéry, please, can you behave? Oh, no, no, don’t pull it! – No!
– ( clamoring ) Stop, I’m gonna be sick! I got severe motion sickness. I think I’ve done my hammy. – Oh.
– Thank you, lads. Good work, bro. I feel like a champion. Jack:
Well, I think we all learnt
a lot from that.My training was completeand I was on my way
to being a winner.Getting bullied
by the bigger boys,it was just like
being back at school.Before they had the chance
to give me a dead legand spank me
with a rowing oar,training was over.What’s it like playing
for Jo– I know you’re gonna have
to pronounce the name. – Joachim Low.
– “Yogi love.” Yes. – Jurgen Love.
– Not Jurgen, Joachim. Yogi. Yogi Bear. So what’s it like
playing for “Jochim Year.” No, it’s great, he’s an amazing coach. Has anyone had a word with him
before the tournamentto just remind him that
there will be cameras on himduring the game?Jérôme:
I think he knows.Did you have a word with him
after you saw… – No, I don’t have to.
– ..the footage of
the scratch and sniff? No, I don’t have to
have a word with him. As a senior member
of the squad, do you not think
it’s your responsibility – to just maybe point out…?
– No, he knows himself. He knows himself very well,
I think that’s the problem. – Yeah.
– Oh, my God, there’s
actually a guy in lederhosen. – Exactly.
– Is that for real? – Yes.
– ( stammers ) I didn’t think it was,
like, a real thing. No, really, it’s…
it’s real. That’s like going to Ireland
and seeing a leprechaun. I’ve written
a World Cup song. For us? If you would be up for it. Why not? – It is a rap.
– Okay. ‘Cause I know that you
like the rap music. – Yeah.
– I’m not really
into the rap music, as you’re probably
ascertaining because I’m calling it
“the rap music.” But this one has a powerful
message ’cause it’s about bringing together
the two great nations – of England and Germany.
– Okay. – Historic rivals.
– Yeah. This is about compassion. – Okay.
– It’s about bringing together
England and Germany. Okay. Why not? Let’s do it. Jack:
And that’s how you do business.Yes!Five minutes in the carand JB had agreed to be
the Busta to my Rhymes,the Tu to my Pac,
the LL to my Cool J.I had some calls to make,
but first I had an appointmentwith another German hero.Thomas Muller, midfield legendand the funniest thing to come
out of Germany since…Thomas Muller.Versatile team player,
goal scorer and creator,Muller’s as happy in midfield
as he is out front.He scored 23 goals in Beyern’s
historic treble-winning seasonand was a key player in
Germany’s World Cup
winning sidescoring five goals.Please go easy on England,
Thomas.A lot of footballers
are a little bit waryabout being seen
around alcohol.Thomas Muller has arranged
to meet me in a beer hall.Did someone order a legend?So, here we are, the paradise. – This is what I came for.
– Yeah. There is the beer inside. Oh. There’s quite
a lot of old people. Yeah, maybe. At this time,
the younger people have to work, then the older people
can drink beer. Jack:
Yeah. The beer is a little bit
more stronger.You don’t need five,
or six, or seven,or ten beer to get drunk.Two or three beer is enough.I’m famously
a complete lightweight. – Okay.
– Like one and I’m…That’s a strong smell
of sausage.Now here’s theSchweinshaxe.– No, no. Oh.
– Sorry. – Thomas:They taste amazing.
– Jack:This is the delicacy.– What’s that?
That’s like a massive sausage.
– This liver… – Yes.
– Can you just do this
anywhere in Germany? – Just walk into any kitchen?
– Yeah, I can walk in,
but I cannot walk out. Thomas:
Normally, the people recognize,–“Oh, there’s Muller.”
–Yeah.And I have to do
some selfies. – Yeah.
– Or I have to… run away. – Run away.
– So normally I run away. I feel right now like I’m in the
German version of “Goodfellas.” ( laughs )Just wander in,
grab a bit of sausage.When you win a World Cup,
you can just… you can just take anyone’s
sausage and it’s fine. – Perfect.
– Oh, that is good. – Yeah, it’s good, huh?
– That is exceptional. Yeah. Hey! Thomas:
It’s your crowd here.Yeah, you have to
they’re all here for me.Thomas:
Yeah! ( laughs )What’s the Thomas Muller
celebration? Oh, they’re
every time different. – No, I know…
– Yeah? Ah! Yeah, this one, yeah. Jack:
Classic Muller,horsing around with
one of his many fans.( music playing )Sausage sampled, it was time
to slip into something
more comfortable.I cannot wait. It has been a dream of mine
to wear leder. ( Thomas laughs ) Which of these is mine? Um, I’ll check, I have
prepared some for you in there, yes. – It’s very special.
– Okay. I think it’s your style. – Okay.
– Yeah. I don’t think these
are traditional clothes. Let’s take a look. Oh, wow! Very nice! Believe me.
A little less here, but… It’s too short, I’m very
conscious that my lufthammer
might be coming out, so… When we drop a huge gag
from now on, we have to do
the Muller after it. Can you do it
a little more high? – Yeah. High?
– Higher, yes. No, no! Take these
traditional lederhosen. – Yeah, this one.
– ( Jack chuckles ) What’s next on
my German adventure? I tried to learn
you Schafkopf. – Schafkopf?
– That’s the card game. Ah, yes. – You think I look good?
– Yeah. –Hallo.
– It’s perfect. – They’re quite tight.
– Ah, come on. – I’m walking like
– ( laughs ) –Prost.
So I joined Thomas
and his cousinsfor a game of Schafkopf,or sheep’s head in English,a traditional German card gamethat literally
makes no sense at all.So, we play Schafkopf. – Four cards for you.
– Four cards for me. You have to think. That’s the problem
with this game. – Yes.
– Yes? The good cards are hard. Can we play Snap? ( speaks German ) – Yes!
– Yeah! Ay! –Schluss!
– Thomas: Oh, yeah! It’s very aggressive.Schluss.– No, that’s wrong.
– Oh. The big one. ( speaks German ) ( laughter ) – Good move.
– It’s the highest card
in the game. Yeah! Prost. ( laughter ) You wanna play my game quickly? What kind of game? So whilst you were becoming
a world-class footballer, I was at college perfecting this. I am a world-class
beer pong player. You can bounce once
or straight in. ( Thomas and Jack whistling ) Me first. Oh! Straight down the hatch. Oh, he’s drinking, I’m throwing. – Oh!
– Ah, but he was goalkeeper. Oh, wonderful defensive work
ahead from Muller. – Aye!
– Oh! Ah, damn it,
off the post. Oy! – Ah!
– Oh! ( laughs ) Counter attack. I’m gonna get very drunk. – I have to show you the legend.
– Whoa. The world record holder
in beer race. He can show us, huh? You have to do the same. – We have to do the same?
– We have to do the same. Now I think we split the beers. So how many in each, four? Four each, yes, four each. Looks– Whoo! Oh, my God,
these are so heavy. Yeah. – Whoever can spill the least?
– Yes. We are in Germany,
you have to learn to win. – Okay.
– And I show you. – Try your best.
– Okay. Three… two, uh… – No.
– …go! No, Thomas! Muller, Muller! No!Nein.Nein.– Muller, Muller!
– Ah! – No, Muller!
– ( laughter ) – Ah!
– Muller! Ah! Muller! Ah! Ah! He won, but he cheated. Definitely. – It’s been
an absolute pleasure.
– Yes. – You are my hero.
– Thank you. It turns out the forfeit
for losing the race is that you drink
your remaining beer. I could be here
for ( bleep ) hours. It’s a lot of beer.So, having had a little bit
too much to drink…Guten Tag, Munchen!…and ingratiated myself
with the locals……I had to leave Munich
very quicklyand head to Dortmundto meet a less beer-obsessed,
but never the lesspint-sized German hero,
Super Mario.( crowd cheering,
music playing )Commentator:
And it’s Gotze!Jack:
became a German legendwhen he scored the winning goal
in the 2014 World Cup final.Coming through the Borussia
Dortmund Youth Academy,he made his club debut in 2009where he’s won
the Bundesliga title twice.First selected for the German
squad at just 18 years old,he scored 17 international
goals and counting.So who better to rub salt into
the wound and show me arounda museum dedicated
to Germany’s fantastic
footballing achievements?– Mario.
– Hey. Why have you brought me
to this horrendous place? Just wanted to show you
everything we have in Germany. – Okay.
– Trophies. Jack:
we don’t have those – over in England.
– Not at all. No, our history of football
is like a portacabin. – That’s all we have
in our history.
– It’s the only thing. England, 1966, we get
one area in the museum. I mean, this is literally
an entire exhibit on how we cheated
to win our one World Cup. Three different video screens
showing the goal in slow-motion so we can see from every angle
whether it did or
didn’t cross the line. Did it go
over the line or not?And boom.Yup, right over the line, yes.( Mario laughs )From every angle
it does appearthat it did not
go over the line.41% of people think
it went over the line,59% said no.And we’re in Germany in the German
football museum. It did it, like,
before you put… No, I didn’t. – You have 40%.
– No, I didn’t. Although, we will just give it
another little cheeky one there. Still not even registering. Just, um…
and what’s over here? What…? It’s just nice to see
some pictures here. How is it still 41%? Get that on camera. Gotze thought it was a goal.
( laughs ) Now we head over
to the main event. And here it is. – Oh, yeah, I remember.
– The centerpiece
of the entire museum.Das boot.Where’s the other boot
by the way? I did, like, an auction,
one guy bought it. He got the left one. He got the more important one. How much did it cost,
the boot that you sold? Two million Euros. – Two million Euros?
– Yes. – Wow.
– Yeah. I’ll meet you, um… I’ll meet
you by the reception, okay? Just… ( grunts ) Genuinely not alarmed, just for future reference. This is the room. – Mario: Oh, yeah.
– Jack: This is where
it’s happening. That’s nice. The trophy room. One, two, three. Here it is. Your World Cup. – 2014.
– Nice. Yeah. Talk to me
about the after party. – It was insane.
– Yeah? Because I think
after one hour, I was totally drunk,
everybody was drunk. And I couldn’t sleep. I actually slept
in my own suitcase, it was, like,
it was crazy. Wait, wait… – Whoa, whoa, whoa.
– Yeah. You can’t just drop that grenade
into this conversation and expect me
not to leap on it. Are you sure you got in it,
you weren’t put in it? – I’m sure.
– Are they being
nice to you, Mario? Who did it? Muller,
it was Muller, wasn’t it? Maybe, yeah, maybe. Thomas Muller
put him in a suitcase. Now, this is something
you’ll be very excited about, I said that I wanted,
as a little surprise for you, to have them
erect a picture of your most famous
moment in football. What is it a picture there of? Yeah, it’s the picture of your greatest moment in the German
football mus– Oh, my God. I’m so sorry. No, I meant the one
from the final. ( laughs ) I meant the final,
not the semi. Mario, I’m so sorry. I honestly, I didn’t mean
for yourMannschaftto be… It’s nice
with the curtain. Perfect setup, eh? 6.3 kilograms. ( laughs ) And the materials
are good as well. Material, gold. This was the moment, I saw this picture… When? Mario, I saw it
the minute it came out. And it secured in my mind
that you are winning life more than anyone else
on the planet. – Beautiful girlfriend…
– Yeah. …World Cup winner’s medal, and an exceptional
Mannschaft.It’s like… This is great.( crowd cheering )Jack:
Speaking ofMannschafts,England and Germany were
coming together to make music.With that in mind,
it was obvious what to callmy musical masterpiece.( music playing )I’d made some calls
and roped in the helpof super producer Ozand JB’s sister Avelina.Oh, and a technician
called David.Absolute mood hoover.Hello?Can you hear us? Hello?– They can’t hear us.
– They can’t hear us. It’s a studio,
they’re soundproofed. One very important
aspect of it is we’re gonna need,
um… rap names. Okay. What’s yours? MC Scratchy. MC Scratchy, okay. – Do you like?
– Yeah, it’s okay. And me? Big Daddy Boateng? Okay, I like this. That actually sounds
a bit like a porn name. ♪ La, la, la,
la, la, la, la ♪ ♪ La, la, la,
la, la, la, la ♪ Why don’t we just try…? Oh, I’m so sorry, we’re actually
just in the middle of something. So, we’ll be back with you
in a minute. Come closer to the mic
and then we just… I let you roll and
we’ll see what happens? Jack:
Okay, we were just…Can I have a light
here also like him? Okay, right, can everyone
please just take a beat? We’re doing
a vocal warm-up. I’m not launching
into a rap unless my voice
is fully woken up.So let’s just go
back to that.( speaking German )Das ist meinwhat? – Jack?
– Yes? – Can you do…?
– Oh, sorry… just going forward,
if– the “Jack,” I’m not gonna be
responding to that anymore. Okay, what do you want
me to call you? – Just MC Scratchy.
– MC Scratchy? – Yeah, or Scratch Man.
– All right. Okay. So then… Mr. Scratchy, can you do
the chorus for me, please? No, not Mr. Scratchy, M… That’s too formal. – MC Scratchy?
– Yes. Are you with us? MC Scratchy is with you. All right, here it comes. – ( music playing )
– Jérôme: Wow. ♪ I ain’t gonna pretend
that I used to be cool ♪ ♪ I come from a place where
we did fencing at school ♪ ♪ But that’s fine,
I kick a rhyme ♪ ♪ I hope it don’t crash ♪ ♪ They call me MC Scratchy ♪ ♪ ‘Cause of
my eczema rash ♪ ( laughter ) Am I too gangster? You dress like
a school teacher. This is my casual jumper. ( music playing ) ♪ Ain’t gonna… ♪ Sorry, you didn’t do
the thing that time, so I didn’t know
when to come in. You want me
to do the thing? You know where you
point at me, yeah. Thank you very much. Once again. We’ll get to you
at some point. ( music playing )Oh, I forgot, so sorry.So sorry, missed it. Missed it, I wasn’t
looking at you, I was too busy dancing. Just do it again, please. ( music playing )♪ I represent England,
kings of the first-round exit ♪♪ This year we’re gonna win,
make up for Brexit ♪ ♪ The crowd cheers
for more like Bobby ♪ ♪ Now Jérôme’s gonna– ♪ I am gonna have to breathe
when I do the rapping, I held my breath for
the whole thing, and then, by the end of it,
I was about to pass out. ( music playing )♪ The crowd cheers
for more like Bobby ♪♪ Now Jérôme’s gonna rap,
but a little less sloppy ♪ Avelina:
Wow. Smashed that one
out the park. ( music playing ) ♪ England and Germany
used to be enemies ♪ ♪ But now, when we link,
it’s a whole ‘nother energy ♪ ♪ So we can be friends,
but if there’s any drama ♪ ♪ I smack you with the hand
of god-like Maradona ♪ – Oh!
– Yay. – Huge.
– Good? – Yeah, that…
– Not the hand. – Okay, sorry.
– Wow. There was a lot of
attitude on that. I’m learning
from the best. – Yeah.
– Not you. One for the burns unit. Both of you do
the chorus together. – Let’s go again.
– Jérôme:♪ But somebody
should’ve told ya ♪Both:
♪ Mannschaft ♪♪ We turning up the heating ♪ ♪ They wanna take the trophy,
but now we just beat ’em ♪ ♪ The best of the best,
we moving on up ♪ ♪ So to hell with the rest,
let’s win the World Cup ♪ Did we cross our
Mannschaftson that one? ( laughter ) Mic drop, I’m out.( music playing )So this is your tape. This is amazing. Me and Boateng, just two
big centre-halves, just making music, spitting bars like they’re
going out of fashion. Now all we need to do
is shoot a sick music video. – Let’s do this.
– Let’s do this. ( laughs ) I shrapneled it. – Why?
– Boat, did I ruin it? – Yeah.
– Oh, damn it! Damn it!( music playing )And that is literally a rap. I can’t wait
to shoot the music video.( music playing )Jack:
It was the best of times,it was the “wurst” of times.Sadly,
my Teutonic sausage festwas coming to an end.But before I left,
there was one final thingI had to do,cultivate the young sausage
of the future.They call Mario Gotze,
the“wunderkind,”or wonder child because
people see how small he isand wonder,
“Is he a child?”But Mario is just the latest
in a long line ofwunderkindsbeing bred at Borussia
Dortmund’s training ground.To try and steal their secrets,
I stopped byto look into this dastardly
German experiment.Today is about inspiring the
next generation of wonder kids ’cause you’re not
gonna be around forever, so we’re gonna be doing
some training with the Dortmund
under-nines. – Yeah.
– Okay? Let’s bring ’em out. Bring out thekinder!Schnell!( laughter, clamoring ) Ah! Stop!Nein!Who’s the fastest player here? ( speaks German ) Whoa! Okay, there’s only one way
to find out. Time to have race. Oh, they all look quite fast. ( Mario chuckling ) Halt! Behind the line. Behind the line,
I know you Germans are a bit dodgy with the concept
of what is behind the line, and what’s in front
of the line. Three, two, one, go. ( Mario speaks German ) Jack:
So here I was,
a spy behind enemy lines.I wasn’t gonna leave
until I’d learned the secretof turning nine-year-olds
into footballing superstars.I joined Mario to
lead a series of tasksto weed out the men
from the boys.And girls.We have a winner.Das wunderkind!First up, taking a penner.You’re going to be in goal and they’re take
the penalties. – Okay.
– How are you in goal? Eh… This could be the first time
that we’ve ever seen anyone lob while
standing on their line. ( whistle blows ) ( laughter, clamoring ) Jack:
Wait, stop, no, children! – ( whistle blows )
off his line. ( whistle blows ) No! ( cheering ) ( booing ) Jack:
They’re booing me. ( laughs ) Oh, I’m gonna go
full geyser in a moment. Shh!Next up, recreating Gotze’s
World-Cup-winning goal.Hey! ( cheering ) ( grunts ) Sorry, sorry, my bad. ( children chanting ) Jack, Jack, Jack. – Finish.
– I’m left-footed. Jack, we have to change. You’re doing this to me,
are you? ( speaks German ) Children:
Ja!( mutters ) ( speaking German ) Jack:
Gotze! Gotze! Gotze! Oh! ( cheering )( crowd cheering )Commentator:
It’s Super Mario!( cheering )Jack:
( in slow-motion )
could these ankle-bitersbeat the best of the best,the originalwunderkind,me, and an out-of-work
German actordressed as a huge bumblebee?First goal wins.Quick one. ( clamoring ) ( whistle blows ) Secret weapon, use our height to our advantage. Mario. Most of the kids
are taller than you. Use my height. ( children booing ) Oh, yeah, you want some? Yeah, I see you. You like that–
oh, that’s ours. – That’s ours.
–Nein!– It came off him.
–Nein!You can’t– no, it did! – Oh!
– ( laughter ) Oh, my God. These kids are brutal. No!Nein!– No!
– ( whistle blows ) That’s your fault. That’s your fault.( crowd cheering )Jack:
No!Mario? Mario? Oh, no, that’s a child. Ah. – Mario, thanks very much.
– Thank you. It’s been an
incredible training day. Thank you. MyBruderfrom
anotherMutter,Mario Gotze. ♪ Oh, Mario Gotze ♪There was no denying it,
we’d lost.But thanks to my tutoring,the next generation of
wonder kids were ready.What they lacked in manners
and respect for their eldersthey made up for in talent.My work here is done.( music playing )Sadly, it was time to say
Auf Wiedersehento Germany.I’d sampled
their culinary delights,got as close to the World Cup
as I’m ever going to get,trained with the best,
recorded a World Cup song,and learnt the greatest word
ever uttered in
the German language.M-M-M-Mannschaft.Plus, I’d managed
not to mention the war.It was a successvery much like Churchill
in 1945.Oh, damn it, fell at the last.♪ Mannschaft,
we turning up the heating ♪♪ They wanna take the trophy,
but now we just beat ’em ♪♪ The best of the best,
we moving up ♪♪ So to hell with the rest,
let’s win the World Cup ♪♪ Mannschaft,
we turning up the heating ♪♪ They wanna take the trophy,
but now we just beat ’em ♪♪ The best of the best,
we moving up ♪♪ So to hell with the rest,
let’s win the World Cup ♪Right– Stop it! Stop it. Don’t!You mugged me offon a level that I’ve never beenmore mugged off. When you release
the ball, duck head. Duck head. No. I think I’m better
with a blindfold. Oh!Do the same thing tonight.( music playing )– Pressure.
– Okay. – Announcer:Three…
– Wake up, man.…two, one,go! Watch my new show
“Training Days” on YouTube and you can see me hanging out
with some of the best
footballers in the world like Arsenal
and Barcelona legend, Cesc Fàbregas. And Chelsea. Yeah, and them, and them,