5 Kinds of Drunk People

By Brian Lemay No comments


welcome to the internet support group with dan hello internet, today, I’d like to talk about alcohol don’t worry nothing educational or informative so the other day I went to a party I know you’re as surprised as I am and um I had to be somewhere the next morning so I wasn’t drinking and I think it was the first situation that I’d ever been in where I was completely sober and everybody else wasn’t and I swear to god it was like watching a fricking nature documentary I was just stood there watching these creatures enact their strange rituals when somebody came up to me and said “you know they’re not being themselves” “hmm?” “well I don’t drink because it makes me somebody that I’m not” “what do you mean?” “I don’t know I just change into this angry, emotional person whenever I drink” no alcohol does not change you it just makes you lose control of your inhibitions and as I looked around that evening I suddenly became very aware of how this was affecting different people let me demonstrate but in order to explain it for the internet generation I’m gonna call it… THE 5 KINDS OF DRUNK PEOPLE that seems simple enough NUMBER ONE THE SILLY DRUNK watch out this lovable character will spill red wine on your carpet and do something unspeakable to your parents bed “you okay over there?” “yeah I’m having so much fun!” “that didn’t even look expensive” “what?” “MY GRANDMA!” “it’s okay everybody I got this” “no no no no no” THE ANGRY DRUNK *grunts* “you okay?” “I have represented issues that I’m not dealing with that make me behave aggressively towards nice people “it’s okay man one day we all have a moment where we look back and finally realize how you’ve been treating people.” *SCREAMS* “alright” THE EMOTIONAL DRUNK “oh man I love life” “oh I can’t believe that thing I did one time” “ohhh what’s wrong?” “is this my life? this isn’t me.” “okay” “this isn’t who I am” “okay” “I want to go home” THE TIRED DRUNK “i’m so excited for tonight” “yeah man” “awe it’s gonna be crazy and mental and off the hook” “right” “huh” *snoring* “yay” and THE SEXUAL PREDATOR DRUNK “haha yeah” “uh hi” “hello” “are you alright” “haha yeah” “yeah I think you’ve had enough” “shhhhh” “come over” *puking noises* “ohh attractive” yeah I could probably say more but 5 is a good number I mean yeah as a depressant alcohol slows down your brain and it makes you think about consequences less but what those people did it was inside of them…. SHAME now that didn’t seem like a good advert for drinking, did it? no well that’s because kids as you will be warned against some of those people may have been drinking for the sake of getting drunk I don’t know it seems that unlike British teenage culture which heavily advocates binge drinking WKDs until you need your stomach pumped from the age of 14 across the world and on the internet opinions on alcohol seem a lot more divided I know there’s a lot of young people that might not know as much and people with perfectly respectable reasons to not want to drink and you know if you’re a young person who has yet to decide their opinions towards alcohol that’s up to you not me. go google it or something how do you expect to grow if you don’t make mistakes? but some people just enjoy alcoholic beverages as a drink you know if you see your favorite celebrity drinking a beer that doesn’t make them inherently evil I mean I don’t personally disagree with alcohol. I love cocktails and I’ve had fun being with friends after a responsible amount of alcohol you know it’s just socially lubricating but even though it is less healthy than say eating a load of broccoli in one evening even when drinking with the intention of getting drunk you’re not gonna damage your self unless you really over do it which you know I have done in the past but now I know what is a sensible amount for me you want to hear about it don’t you? okay um once when I was on the beach I accidentally pulled the string on one of my friends bikini tops then there was the time I tried to get into a bed when I suddenly realized that my friends parents were asleep in that bed and then of course the night where I tripped over a homeless man and slam dunked a subway down a girl’s clevage yeah they sounded hilarious but they won’t be going into my highlight reel but you tell me guys as I want to know no matter how old you are or what you know leave a comment telling me what your current opinion is on alcohol and why or just something hilarious that’s happened to you from drinking cuz I feel like we can get some genuinely good discussions going in the comments and learn from each other or just an insane shit storm. probably that. so yes stay responsible and I will see you soon. bye guys THE I MUST EXPOSE MY FLESH DRUNK oh man I just want to get naked oh right yeah if you have enjoyed the video then please thumb me ooo yeah thumb thanks and if you know anyone who might enjoy this then you can click these buttons to share it on facebook or twitter oh who am I kidding who uses google+ and click here to subscribe to my channel to see more of my videos ooo yeah this-this dancing is awful and it needs to stop now but yeah after video bit so i’ve moved to London that’s exciting I haven’t had an internet connection for two weeks or any furniture. so basically i’ve been going “ugh kill me” which has been great. I don’t know how I survived but yeah so let’s talk about my channel. i’ll pull up a chair i’m going to make the most of this internet thing and start trying so now is a good time to be subscribed to Dan starting next week there will be a new danisnotonfire video every Thursday evening and vlogs on my side channel so yes! into the future look forward to that ciao

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